Happy Hour 05/31: A-Rod Somehow Keeps Being Hateable

[This was originally posted at Bless You Boys, but I thought it might fit well here, too.]

Since it seems like I've been talking about Alex Rodriguez's "Ha!" play at third base in last night's Yankees-Blue Jays game for most of the day (especially with my buddy Rob), I thought it might be worth bringing the discussion over to the blog.

If you're not familiar with the play, here's a brief recap. In the top of the ninth, Jorge Posada hit a pop-up to third base. A-Rod was running from second to third, and just before he got to the bag, he apparently yelled out something. Howie Clark, the Jays' third baseman, thought his shortstop, John McDonald, was calling for the ball and backed off. But McDonald wasn't, so the ball dropped to the turf and everyone was safe.

Was the distraction/deception the difference in the game? Well, the Yankees already had the lead, so you could argue it didn't. However, that would've been the third out in the inning, and the Jays would've been down by two runs in the bottom of the ninth instead of five.

But the larger question is whether or not A-Rod messing with Clark was a cheap play - or "bush league," as many of us like to say. Obviously, the Jays thought so, calling it "classless. McDonald was ready to throw down (and probably would've wanted to fight with closed fists, a preference we know doesn't suit A-Rod). His manager, John Gibbons, implied that it wasn't a tactic worthy of the Yankee's great history.

Rodriguez mustered a rather weak defense, claiming that he yelled "Ha!" not "Mine!" His third-base coach, Larry Bowa, corroborated the story, but what would you expect? Perhaps more telling is that A-Rod admitted it was a "desperate" play, an attempt to score a much-needed win. And if you look at his reaction when the Jays are protesting, it seems like he knew he was wrong. If he thought McDonald and Gibbons were just splitting hairs, he likely would've just stood on third base with his hands on his hips, shaking his head, or rolling his eyes. But instead, he tries to plead his case. "What? What did I do?"

I guess I'm just curious what other people think. When I first heard about the play this morning, my first reaction was surprise that this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time. In basketball, a defender might clap his hands, trying to fool an offensive player into passing the ball in that direction. Of course, a player wouldn't yell "Ha!" as someone was attempting a free throw. And in that situation, you're not talking about a baseball potentially smacking someone on the head.

Captain Obvious alert: I never played Major League Baseball. But John McDonald does. And if he says it was a "bush league" play, and so do his teammates and manager, then I'd tend to believe them. You might speculate that A-Rod's fellow New York Yankees feel the same way, since none of them came to his defense in any of the game stories I read.

Since Rob played baseball at a higher level than I ever did, I wanted to get his opinion on this. He said it was a play you wouldn't even see in softball. Now that I can confirm. I usually play third base, and no one's ever tried that on me. But I'm already bad enough at catching pop-ups, so maybe the other team figures they don't have to bother.

Baseball's "unwritten rules" are such murky waters. What's "fair" and what isn't? What's actually considered a rule? As Rob said to me, why is it (somewhat) acceptable for a runner on second base to steal signs and relay them to the batter, yet the batter can't sneak a peek at the catcher making those same signs?

If you want to stick to the letter of the law, however, A-Rod did break a rule. Again, this comes from Rob, via the MLB rulebook:

INTERFERENCE

(a) Offensive interference is an act by the team at bat which interferes with, obstructs, impedes, hinders or confuses any fielder attempting to make a play. If the umpire declares the batter, batter- runner, or a runner out for interference, all other runners shall return to the last base that was in the judgment of the umpire, legally touched at the time of the interference.

I'd love to know what you guys think about this. I used to think A-Rod kind of got a bad rap, but especially since he went to New York, it's become pretty clear just how blatantly he attempts to contrive his image. Disingenuous incidents such as this one just make that all the more apparent.

Happy Hour 05/07: New York's Cutest Couple

One of the frequent complaints I've read about Spider-Man 3 is that there's too much goopy romance between Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson. People just want to see some comic book action. But to me, that relationship gives the story its heart. And that sentiment can also be applied to sports.

In Detroit, the bond between Steve Mariucci and Jeff Garcia was one that transcended geography and football logic. Garcia couldn't throw and Mooch couldn't coach. But that didn't stop them from getting back together and renewing their partnership. That's how it is when you've met your soul mate.

You know who else understands that? Roger Clemens and his best friend forever, Andy Pettitte. Distance was merely an obstacle for these two. From New York to Houston and back to the Bronx again, they have maintained their life partnership. The miles between the two cities were just orange cones to be run over by a truck of genuine affection.

And nothing gives a romance more of a storybook quality than a grand gesture. You want a tale you can eventually share with your grandchildren. Think of John Cusack's Lloyd Dobler holding that boombox over his head outside Diane Court's house in Say Anything. Or Sam carrying Frodo up the mountain in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Wasn't Clemens announcing his return to the Yankees from George Steinbrenner's luxury suite equally as memorable?

Did you see the smile on Pettitte's face from the Yankees' dugout? He may as well have held his hands to his chest, swooning while cartoon hearts danced around his head. Together with the Yankees, together with the Astros, and together yet again in pinstripes. How so very touching.

I can only imagine that plenty of other men in the Yankee Stadium stands were inspired to ask for their significant other's hand in marriage or at least give a warm, firm hug to their ballgame buddy. That kind of sharing doesn't have to be restricted to the Bronx, either. Call up your best friend tonight and tell him how you feel. If you want to do it while you're watching a sporting event together, that's fine. We understand.

Of course, acknowledging true love can also leave some broken hearts. And they're watching romantic comedies with pints of ice cream today in Boston and Houston. I'm not sure if Curt Schilling is more jealous over Clemens signing with the Yankees or creating more of an attention-grabbing media spectacle for himself.

"It would've been nice to have him, but we didn't need him. We don't need him," Schilling told The Associated Press in Minneapolis yesterday. "I feel we're a legitimate World Series contender without him.

This is what we men do. We mask our pain with bravado. It's okay, Curt. Yes, Clemens spurned your team and virtually monopolized ESPN's coverage last night and this morning. But hey, he doesn't have a blog like you do. Use the outlet you've given yourself. You can get through this, even if it takes you 2.800 words to do so. Some of us might not read them all because we only have so many hours in the day to devote to your narcissism, but if that's what you need, we're here for you.

And it's not just fellow players and potential teammates that are dealing the hurt of rejection. Members of the media who fell for Clemens' charms are also nursing wounded souls today. Check out the Houston Chronicle's Richard Justice slicing open a vein and pouring his blood all over his blog for his beloved Rocket:

I kissed the guy's feet every time he walked into a room. I wrote time and again that it was an honor to have him pitching for the hometown team.

In other words, I did my part. I even put up with his obnoxious agent, Randy Hendricks. If this deal includes a one-way ticket out of town for that guy, it may end up being worth it.

I believed all that stuff, too. Roger Clemens is an amazing competitor. He no longer has great stuff, but he stills wins because he has guts and poise and smarts and astonishing control.

Wow. Somebody make sure that man isn't spending tonight alone. Take him out to dinner. Buy him something nice to make him feel good about himself. Just sit and listen. He doesn't need to hear you talk. He needs you to let him say what he's feeling. Give the poor guy the "Five Good Minutes" slot on "PTI" tonight, so Kornheiser and Wilbon can help him sort out his feelings. We all need friends at times like these.

Regardless, we should all be happy that two people on this earth, in this life, have found such bliss together. It's like they say: When you know, you just know. And even if we haven't found such a partnership for ourselves, at least this gives us hope to keep trying. We can be like Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte. Just don't give up. Never give up.

Happy Hour 05/04: The Worst Idea I've Heard All Week

Leading up to last weekend's NFL Draft, I often thought about how grossly overstuffed the coverage has become. The hype kicked into overdrive at least a month before the actual event, with ESPN devoting several weekday prime time hours, in addition to what was on NFL Live and SportsCenter, to rumor and speculation surrounding which names would be called out in New York. Who was rising up, falling down, calling about a trade, smoking pot, healing from injuries, etc.?

Of course, I can't get too indignant about it all. It's not like I wasn't watching enough of that stuff for terms like "ball recognition," "high motor," and "smooth hips" to almost become a regular part of my vocabulary.

But eventually, the line has to be drawn somewhere. And if the latest rumors are true, it's time to get out that chalk or tape and start making some of those lines. According to a story in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune (via AOL Fanhouse), the ratings for last Saturday's coverage were so good that the NFL is looking into possibly moving the first round to the Friday night of its draft weekend.

My first thought was this: The NFL realizes this year's first round took six #@$%ing hours to complete, right? How many of you are keen on watching five guys sitting at a desk, assorted football highlights, and draft selection crawls going across, up, and down the screen until 2 a.m. after you just finished the work week?

To me, the NFL Draft already has an undercurrent of depression, in that you're staying inside to watch this stuff on what's often the first Saturday of the year with gorgeous Spring weather. I don't know about you, but I don't usually ask other people what they did that weekend because I don't want to respond to "Man, I did a lot of yard work; the house looks great," "We went to the beach," "I went bicycling," "We picnicked and played frisbee at the park," or "We went to a ballgame and sat in the bleachers," with "I wasted the entire day, until the sun went down, with the shades drawn and a 12-pack of beer beside me, waiting to see which pro team drafted Drew Stanton."

Actually, that's a reason they should have the draft on Friday night, isn't it?

But doesn't the whole thing just work better when you can work the rest of your day around the draft? Maybe your significant other shows you how much she loves you by planning to do something else while you sit home and watch TV. Maybe you get that yard work or those errands done before or after your favorite team picks. Can any of those scenarios easily occur on a Friday night? Shouldn't you be out trying to forget the work week while having dinner or seeing a movie? Or blowing off steam watching some live music or a ballgame? If you stay home, shouldn't you be spending time with your family? Or having sex with someone - even if it's yourself?

And I could be wrong, but this isn't something that you sit in a sports bar to watch, is it? There's no flow, no rhythm, no rise and fall to watching the NFL Draft. There aren't any great moments like a home run, a 60-yard touchdown pass, a shot from the blue line, or a buzzer-beating three pointer. What makes you high-five your friends or the people sitting near you? Sure, there's some drama to it, but it's really slow-developing stuff, like watching Brady Quinn and his family flee to Roger Goodell's private suite after 10 teams have passed on him. I'm sure sports bars would be fine with you adding to your bar tab as you sit and wait for hours, though.

This would be messing too much with the world order, NFL. Don't get too greedy. You already get enough of our time, attention, and energy. You're talking about upsetting the balance of life. And that's something we should be able to #@$% up on our own, without your help.

Happy Hour 04/24: Grant Hill Can't Have It Both Ways

At Detroit Bad Boys, Matt Watson has a response to Grant Hill's recent lamentations over playing on what turned out to be a broken ankle at the end of his days with the Pistons. Even if Hill is trying to lay blame elsewhere or revise history, I'm kind of glad he's bringing this subject up, because it's something I've always wondered about.

If Hill had to do it all over again, would he decide not to play on that ankle (even if it meant Detroit fans probably would've questioned his toughness)? Of course, it's not like the injury cost him financially, as Mike Bianchi points out in the Orlando Sentinel column that started this discussion.

It's natural to revisit this situation, I suppose, especially with Hill now facing his former team in a playoff series. But Hill's implied accusations come off as a little phony - and I think that's an issue many Detroit fans had with Hill, much as New York fans currently have with Alex Rodriguez - when it seems rather clear that playing with the injury and opting for surgery were his decision, and a situation over which he held all the control.

Such remarks seem almost silly when you consider - as Matt also pointed out at the AOL Fanhouse last month - that Arnie Kander, the Pistons' strength and conditioning coach, has worked wonders in rehabilitating Antonio McDyess and Chris Webber, whose injuries never seemed to heal with other teams. (The New York Times also cited Kander's value in keeping the team healthy last year.)

Regardless of whether or not you thought he was being entirely sincere at the time, I think Hill left Detroit in as classy a manner as he could. He didn't have to talk to local columnists or appear on sports talk radio shows to answer questions from hosts and fans, but he did - and not many athletes do that on their way out of town.

Maybe it was another example of Hill trying to get everyone to like him (though I think that's being a tad cynical), but at least he made an effort to keep things cool with the fans here. That's the Grant Hill I like to remember. And I really hope he doesn't say anything to change that perception as his career winds down toward its end.

Happy Hour 04/11: Keeping My Lions Glass Half Empty

Well, dagnabbit - Big Al already beat me to this, but while driving around town today and listening to the announcement of the NFL schedules (and later marveling at how much air time ESPN was devoting to this as I watched during lunch), it seemed like perfectly good material for a post, so I'm still going through with it. Not only do I hate swallowing a decent (if unoriginal) idea, but hey, I already typed most of this out.

Last year, I pegged the Detroit Lions for a 6-10 record and third-place finish in the NFC North division. What little optimism fueled that prediction was based on a belief that the Lions would at least be better than the Green Bay Packers. Oops. Apparently, I seriously underestimated the restorative powers of Sensodyne for Brett Favre.

Of course, I realize that the roster the Lions will take into September hasn't yet been fully formed. There's that whole draft thing, and then whatever free agents they could pick up following early summer and training camp cuts.

Also, it surely stands to reason that Motown's mighty gridiron heroes would have to show some improvement after a one-year apprenticeship in the Mike Martz Happy-Happy-Fun-Time offensive and Tampa Two defensive schemes. Not to give the rest of this post away, but you'll soon discover that I'm right in line with that line of thinking.

So let's get to it, and run down the Detroit Lions' 2007 schedule:

Sept. 9 @ Raiders: Right away, the naysayers will have a chance to utter those tired refrains, "Same ol' Lions" and "I told you they sucked." On paper, the Raiders are a worse football team. Yet going to the West Coast will throw off their body clocks and circadian rhythms. Making it more infuriating is that the Lions could be beaten by their former back-up quarterback, if Josh McCown is traded to Oakland, as is rumored. LOSS

Sept. 16 - Vikings: Though the Lions have become even worse than history and conventional wisdom might inform you, I'll still cling to the theory that they tend to split the season series with the Vikings. And we pretty much know they won't win in the Metrodome. I tend to think Minnesota could be terrible, but have no hard facts to back that up right now. So the Lions will be 1-1, and for one week, Lions fans will actually allow that bud of optimism to flower. WIN

Sept. 23 @ Eagles: Dude, you can't be serious. Beat the Eagles at Philadelphia? Broham, please. LOSS

Sept. 30 - Bears: You know, I think this is kind of a tough call. Because the Lions tend to play the Bears closely at home, and really should've beaten them at least a couple of times recently at Ford Field. Yet Chicago always turns out to be better than I think, and Detroit typically finds a way to lose this one. LOSS

Oct. 7 @ Redskins: This is another one that could go either way because the Redskins seem to have no rhyme or reason to their team building, despite paying their coaching staff more than some NFL franchise pay their players. But this is a road game. And I think Gregg Williams' blitz-heavy schemes will make life miserable for Jon Kitna. LOSS

Oct. 14 Bye Week: Yeah, yeah, yeah - hey, at least the Lions didn't lose this week. Har. You should do an open mike night. But you'll probably also have to do that yard work you've been putting off. The leaves have been piling up. Or if you live in a condo or apartment, you could catch the new Farrelly brothers movie.

Oct. 21 - Buccaneers: Sure, Jeff Garcia could come in and stick it to the fans that (justifiably) thought he was absolute dog vomit and only on the roster because of Steve Mariucci's mancrush. But he could also get pounded like a rag doll and crushed into the Ford Field turf like ground-up tires. And though Jon Gruden is surely familiar enough with Rod Marinelli's defense to know how to beat it, I think Marinelli's familiarity with Gruden's schemes will trump that. WIN

Oct. 28 @ Bears: The only difference between this game and the Lions' last few visits to Soldier Field is that it's not scheduled two weeks into the season. LOSS

Nov. 4 - Broncos: To me, this is the toughest call on the schedule. The Broncos should've made the playoffs last year, and arguably have made the most notable improvements this off-season. And if you look at Denver's schedule, this could be a trap game, coming the week before a division match-up with the Chiefs. Once upon a time, you could count on the Lions to beat a better team at least once a season. Those days are long gone. LOSS

Nov. 11 @ Cardinals: But you can still count on the Lions to lose to an inferior team that they should absolutely beat, home or away. Sadly, that hasn't changed. LOSS

Nov. 18 - Giants: If Tom Coughlin hasn't already been fired by now, his job security will be obliterated after this game. The Lions' defense might actually make Eli Manning cry. This could be Detroit's most impressive win of the season. WIN

Nov. 22 - Packers: For yet another year, the greatest myth in all of Detroit sports - the idea that the Lions are somehow unbeatable on Thanksgiving Day - will continue to be debunked. Favre might actually gnaw on a turkey leg as he torches the Lions' secondary (which will avoid anonymity only because their names will be constantly mentioned as they're beaten for touchdowns throughout the season) for another 80-yard bomb. LOSS

Dec. 9 @ Vikings: Even if they don't split with Minnesota, the Lions sure as hell won't win this one. But I still think the Vikings could stink. LOSS

Dec. 16 - Cowboys: You might say that them Cowboys are itching for some Texas-style vengeance after the Lions embarrassed them in Dallas last year. Are you kidding me? The Lions own the Cowboys, dude. WIN

Dec. 23 - Chiefs: If Dick Vermeil was still Kansas City's coach, I'd almost say this was a guaranteed win for Detroit. Martz wouldn't sleep all week, trying to figure out ways to beat his former boss. But Herm Edwards is the coach now, and I think his head would explode if the Chiefs lost this game. Fortunately, I think brain matter cleans off the field turf just fine. Call the Lions butter, 'cuz they'll be on a roll! WIN

Dec. 30 @ Packers: This is the deal the Lions had to make to bring the Packers in on Thanksgiving. In return, they'll have to play a late December game at Lambeau Field in bone-chilling cold. Favre will be buying all the booze for his New Year's Eve party as he scorches the Lions' secondary for another 80-yard bomb. Oh, sweet merciful end. LOSS


So after counting all the blue words and red words, I have the Lions going 5-11. Technically, that is an improvement over last season, so all of you who think that they have to improve if for no other reason than they can't be worse should be absolutely correct. And though we've heard rumblings that Matt Millen could be done if the Lions don't finish .500 (and therein lies the true kernel of hope for Lions fans), you have to think he'll somehow be able to sell this whole improvement/making progress/it's so close to coming together thing to William Clay Ford yet again.

I'm sorry. For you. For me. For all of us. You might want to start reviewing prospects for the other NFL team you inevitably decide to root for early this year.

Happy Hour 04/06: You Know, I Never Liked That Guy

I won't make a habit of recycling content from Bless You Boys over here, but I think this case deserves an exception. Not only is it an outrage, but frankly, I still feel bad about not showing more blogger solidarity the last time Colin Cowherd showed disrespect for the blogosphere, and wish I'd have chimed in at the time. Hopefully, this makes up for it in some regard.

I originally found out about this indirectly when I wanted to link to The Big Lead for a story on Curtis Granderson. Then I read Deadspin's account of it, and later Big Al's.

If you're not familiar with the story, this is basically what happened: For whatever reason, Cowherd thought it would be funny to flex some nationally syndicated radio muscle and use his audience to take down some unsuspecting (yet apparently successful enough to attract such attention) blog. So he asked his listeners to flood TBL with hits, thus crashing the server and taking the site down (where it still remains as I write this).

This is the same guy, mind you, who previously thought blogs were so insignificant that he could just swipe their material without proper credit or attribution.

Why would Cowherd do such a thing? I have no idea, but a conspiracy theory is gnawing at me. The Big Lead has aired out a lot of ESPN's dirty laundry in its year-plus of existence, so maybe someone at the network decided to strike back. So who on the ESPN Radio roster would abide such a request? Mike & Mike and Dan Patrick still have some professional and journalistic integrity to them, and likely wouldn't accommodate such a fool's errand.

Hey! Let's go with our resident corporate stooge, the one who will do anything we ask him to do. Get Cowherd! He already hates blogs for exposing him as an unoriginal fraud and complete tool. Tell him this will get his show on in a couple of large markets that won't put it on the air. And if he hesitates, threaten to take away that three-minute segment of his that we bury at the end of the Sunday morning SportsCenter.

Again, I don't know why Cowherd would do this, other than to try and defend the corporate interests and big markets he frequently sucks up to (unlike his predecessor, Tony Kornheiser) from something they all don't really comprehend, and therefore feel threatened by.

And I don't know what possible recourse could cause his radio show as much damage as he caused The Big Lead. Probably the most productive counter-measure is to follow The M Zone's lead and express your disapproval to those who can actually do something about it. Either leave a comment for ESPN's ombudsman or e-mail presidents of ESPN and ABC Radio.

♦ george.bodenheimer (at) espn (dot) com

♦ john.hare (at) abc (dot) com

It's bad enough Cowherd (or should I say "Schrutebag") gets away with 15 hours of lame radio a week. He shouldn't be able to get away with being a bully and an @$$hole, too.

Happy Hour 04/05: Non Sequitur Shots!

♦ I'm not a Washington Wizards fan, but I was looking forward to seeing what Gilbert Arenas could do in this year's playoffs. Watching him and LeBron-Bron go at it last year was some of the most fun I had watching basketball last year. And now that Agent Zero is out for the rest of the season, the Eastern Conference playoffs just won't be as exciting. I should be more scared of Miami and Chicago as a Pistons fan, but Arenas is the guy I didn't want to face in the earlier rounds.

♦ Here's more on the current misery afflicting Wizards fans from Bullets Forever and DC Sports Bog.

♦ Another thing that might scare me as a Pistons fan is if Rip Hamilton decides to lose his damn mind again, as he did last night against Chicago's Tyrus Thomas. What the hell was that? Maybe Rip just wanted an early shower since the Pistons were getting their butts kicked at home (106-88) by the Bulls.

♦ Here's more from Detroit Bad Boys, including the news that the NBA won't suspend Hamilton for his behavior.

♦ By the way, for all the talk about how many technical fouls Rasheed Wallace draws and how he'll draw suspensions because of them, how surprising is it to read that Hamilton is one tech away from sitting out for a game? I had no idea it was like that.

♦ Following John Beilein's official introduction as Michigan men's basketball coach yesterday, I found this Yahoo! Sports column by Adrian Wojnarowski on a message board that should get Wolverines fans really excited.

The article is from January, long before "Michigan" and "John Beilein" would be in the same sentence, and wonders how Beilein's offensive schemes would work in the NBA, not at another school. In Wojnarowski's eyes, that should've been the next jump for Beilein. Somebody show this column to Manny Harris.

♦ And wouldn't it be some cold shit painful irony if Manny Harris ended up going to Tennessee, which was a rumor making the rounds last night? And after all of the down-on-my-knees pleading I did (in private, anyway) for my homeboy Bruce Pearl to come to Ann Arbor. Apparently, that's what Coach meant when he said he could recruit the state of Michigan.

♦ By the way, I know Beilein's doing this now largely because he just got the job, but it's been nice to hear him make the rounds on local radio over the past couple of days. I hope that's something he keeps doing as he settles into the job, and I was glad to see financial provisions attached to doing radio and TV shows, because after Tommy Amaker's media blackout, Michigan's basketball coach has to be out there so much that you almost get sick of him. And so far, it looks like Beilein is up to that task.

♦ From here on out, I think virtually everything I write about baseball will be at Bless You Boys (and it's been going well over there so far), but I thought I'd link to my 2007 Detroit Tigers, AL Central, and MLB season previews.

There's a distinct aroma of homer to my predictions, but it's not like the Tigers aren't actually good enough to follow through on such expectations. For a quick recap, here's how I see the AL Central:

1. Detroit
2. Cleveland
3. Minnesota
4. Chicago
5. Kansas City

Joining the Tigers as AL division winners will be the Yankees and Angels, with the Red Sox as the Wild Card. In the NL, the Braves, Brewers and Dodgers will win their division, and the Mets will take the Wild Card. The Tigers will make it back to the World Series and beat the Dodgers.

Your Most Valuable Players will be Cleveland's Grady Sizemore and the Mets' Jose Reyes. Cy Young Awards will go to Minnesota's Johan Santana and the Cubs' Carlos Zambrano. And the Rookies of the Year will be Boston's Daisuke Matsuzaka (even though he probably shouldn't be eligible for the award) and Arizona's Chris Young.

♦ Finally, is ESPN really devoting two hours of programming tonight to the NFL schedule? C'mon, man - show a frickin' baseball game. The season just started.

Happy Hour 03/27: Waiting For Bill

I understand that perception doesn't always equal reality, but right now, doesn't it seem like everyone except the Michigan athletic department is interested in hiring a men's basketball coach?

I'm distinguishing between the men's and women's positions because Michigan has reportedly contacted Vanderbilt and Bowling Green for permission to interview their coaches for the women's basketball job. Meanwhile, it appears that none of the schools that currently employ any of the rumored candidates for the men's coaching gig have received requests for interviews.

Am I being a bit hasty in asking just what the hell is going on here? There has been almost zero noise surrounding the men's basketball coaching search over the past week. The only chatter that is coming out is from coaches acknowledging that the position is open (or just casually mentioning Michigan as a state in which they've recruited before). And considering most every candidate that's been rumored is now available to be interviewed (or has received a contract extension from their respective employers), that's a bit surprising.

It's borderline shocking when you see that Iowa isn't showing Michigan the common courtesy of waiting until the Wolverines have decided to make their move before requesting permission to interview prospective coaches. I mean, the Hawkeyes have already contacted Tennessee so they can talk to Bruce Pearl. How rude! What the hell happened to all the kindness and politeness I encountered from people during my two years in Iowa City? See what a having a head coach opening can do to your manners?

So seriously - what's happening? Is Michigan gathering its reserves to make a really big move, one that might test the resolve of anyone claiming loyalty to their current position? Is the administration waiting until the coach of a certain NIT semi-finalist (who's been heartily endorsed by local columnists) is available to formally chat? Or are they still trying to figure out just what the hell they're going to do?

Okay, the waiting is the hardest part. I know that. But why is there any waiting at all?

Happy Hour 03/22: What the Hell is Going On Here?

♦ In the span of about two hours, the game of coaching musical chairs got crazy in the Big Ten. First, it looked like Xavier's Sean Miller was going to be the next University of Minnesota head coach. Shortly thereafter (very shortly), the Gophers raised the stakes significantly, hiring Tubby Smith away from Kentucky to run the show at Williams Arena next season. (ESPN.com confirmed the story soon after that.)

As Maize n Brew Dave just said to me via IM, "What the hell just happened?" Even the Minnesota press was knocked off their chairs on this one.

The dominoes aren't just falling in order now; they may have been scattered off the table. One of the elite jobs in college basketball just opened up in Lexington, and can expect to attract some of the biggest names available (or not available until approximately two hours ago). And whichever school loses their coach to Kentucky might create an opening that jumps ahead of Michigan in the greeting line.

♦ I'm sure you've all read this already, but just in case you haven't had a chance to see what it looks like when a coach sells his soul, here's a link to the NY Times article on the O.J. Mayo/Tim Floyd courtship at USC.

The main reason I'm linking to it today is The Big Lead raised an interesting point earlier today: What are the chances Mayo plays a minute for the Trojans once the NCAA looks into his relationship with Ronald Guillory?

I'll repeat what I said in the comments section over there: If Jamal Crawford was suspended while at Michigan because of his living arrangements with what the NCAA termed a “sponsor,” then what the hell will they have to say about an “event promoter” making overtures to a college coach?

♦ A swap of first-round picks (#8 to #10) and two second-round picks for Matt Schaub? Last night, my initial thought was that the Texans gave up too much for a back-up - and still rather unproven - quarterback. Then Richard Justice said he loved the trade on his Houston Chronicle blog. And if you weren't sure such a deal expressed the Texans' intentions to make Schaub their starting QB, they followed up with a six-year, $48 million contract that effectively sends David Carr looking for free agent handouts.

But enough about those other teams. Let's bring it back home to Detroit. Atlanta now has the #8 pick in the first round, and the 7th and 12th selections in the second round. Is that what Matt Millen might be looking for in exchange for the #2 pick? Here's how ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli sees it:

Most teams use a chart, principally developed by former Dallas and Miami coach Jimmy Johnson, that assigns a points value to every choice in the draft. The corresponding points for the eighth pick in the first round is 1,400. The two second-round choices owned by the Falcons are worth 510 points (the seventh choice in the round) and 460 points (the 12th).

The total points value for the Falcons' three choices in the first two rounds is 2,370 points. On the points chart, the second overall choice in the entire draft, owned by Detroit -- which is rumored to be interested in trading back -- is worth 2,600 points. Atlanta would fall a little shy of that, but not by much, with its 2,370 points for the three choices in the first and second rounds.

If the Falcons have their eyes on Calvin Johnson, and the Lions want to move down, there might just be enough to dance with here.

Happy Hour 03/19: So Who's the New Guy?

Right now, the Michigan blogosphere and media runneth over with lists, candidates, and opinions regarding who should be the next men's coach at Crisler Arena. I really have nothing to add, especially since I'd just come up with the same names, and honestly, I don't know a whole lot about 60% of these guys.

My initial reflex was to jump up and down while fluttering my hands at the mention of former Stanford coach Mike Montgomery. At first glance, he would seem to be exactly what Bill Martin should be looking for. He's coached at a school with extremely tough academic standards, put together a consistent Pac-10 powerhouse, while notching some won-loss records any coach would be proud of. Plus he's got a little of that NBA experience, which is nice, too.

However, I also think he might be a bit too old to undertake a project like this, and seems to be more of a West Coast guy. I'm betting Michigan wants someone younger (although you could argue they've already gone that particular route) with strong Midwestern ties and connections.

As our buddy Doug Hill said over the weekend, Michigan really needs a coach who can sell this program, and I definitely agree with that. Amaker certainly had his failings as a game coach, but I think his primary flaw was his seeming refusal to promote Michigan basketball.

How can a coach in this era of college basketball not even have a radio or TV show? And last year (I believe), there were rumblings that Fox Sports Net wanted to follow Amaker and his team during the end of the season, as it fought to make the NCAA Tournament. What an opportunity to show yourself to fans, alumni, and potential recruits, right? Except Amaker refused. You know who didn't, and took FSN up on its offer right away? Tom Izzo.

So my current impulse is to bring in a guy who will work like hell to encourage interest in his program, and I think mid-major coaches are used to that sort of demand. They're not presuming people will watch simply because of notoriety and reputation. They're not banking solely on the name of their school to attract attention. They're out there working like hell to embrace the community at large because they can't afford not to. And Michigan needs that kind of mentality right now.

But here's what people who actually know about this stuff are saying right now:

♦ Maize n Brew has done an incredibly thorough job of outlining the candidates (after reading his list, I knew there was no sense in me even trying) and assessing their chances of being your new Michigan men's basketball coach. Southern Illinois' Chris Lowery is the most likely, in his opinion, followed by Washington State's Tony Bennett and UNLV's Lon Kruger.

♦ Michigan Sports Center details the most important qualities that the next coach will need (teaching fundamentals, recruiting Detroit), and posts its own meticulous list, with a couple of additional candidates to consider.

♦ MGoBlog has zoomed the microscope in even further, breaking down the talent pool into two categories: Name Guys and Mid-Majors. (Oh, and just in case you weren't sure, Brian really, really doesn't care for Terry Foster.)

♦ Former coaches and TV analysts disagree! The Ann Arbor News' Nathan Fenno covers the differences in opinion over just how good a job Michigan is right now. (Fenno also wrote this insightful profile of Tommy Amaker almost a year ago).

♦ The Detroit News' Eric Lacy says Amaker's biggest problem may have been that he thought coaching basketball was the only thing he had to do at Michigan.

♦ Oregon's Ernie Kent says if Michigan talks, he'll listen. I'm sure his bosses are thrilled that he made these comments while his team is preparing for its next NCAA Tournament game against Kruger's Runnin' Rebels. (That just didn't sound right, did it?) (via the Detroit News)

♦ According to Ann Arbor News columnist Jim Carty, Michigan could've done much more to support Tommy Amaker, and will have to prove it's serious about winning to attract a better successor. (Maybe they can take a walk by Fisher Stadium to check out the renovations when the subject of a practice facility and investing in the basketball program comes up.)

Happy Hour 03/16: Eatin' My Corn from a Jar

A big, sweaty thanks to the "Corn from a Jar" podcast, which mentioned the very blog you're reading (with requisite chuckles over the title) and my Final Four pick of Tennessee on this week's show.

I became a fan of the "Corn from a Jar" blog during football season, so I could find some Tennessee stuff to talk about when I met Dr. Lil' Sis' boyfriend over the holidays. Shortly after the New Year, however, he answered the call from SportsBlog Nation and moved his operation over to Rocky Top Talk. And now that I'm doing the Bless You Boys thing, we're like SB Nation brohams! How about that?

Thomas Friedman was right. The world is flat.

Anyway, a fellow Tony Kornheiser fan can't be that bad of a fella, right? (Even though that show stinks.) So if you're interested, they poke a little fun at me and SME, and of course, my pick of Tennessee (which I think looks pretty damn good after that stomping of Long Beach St. earlier today). Keep me lookin' good, Bruce Pearl!

You can download the podcast here. If you're pressed for time, scroll ahead to the 28:30 mark of the show. And while you're at it, stop by and say hi to the guys at Rocky Top Talk. Thanks again to "Corn from a Jar."

Happy Hour 03/12: Read This Now, and Believe Me Later

Okay, my friends. It's tournament time. March Madness. The Big Dance. Cinderellas, Sweet Sixteens, Elite Eights, Final Fours, and Shining Moments. Quite possibly the most wonderful time of the year.

Yep. I don't know anything about it.

When I got home last night, I tried to watch the selection specials that I DVR'ed, but after about 10 minutes, I realized I hardly knew a damn thing about any of these schools. And right then, a small part of me cried because it occurred to me that I may have been a more knowledgeable sports fan in my teens and twenties. I would've been all over this thing 10-12 years ago.

Even back in high school, I knew so much more about college basketball than I do now. I actually took the time to watch other conferences play. This past weekend, I actually reminisced about how I used to set aside time on a Saturday or Sunday to watch an important Big East or ACC match-up. Nowadays, with the exception of a handful of SEC games this year (which probably involved either Florida or Tennessee), it's been quite a while since I watched a regular season game that didn't involve a Big Ten team.

Despite what I just confessed in the previous two paragraphs, however, I'm going to make some NCAA tournament predictions anyway. And you might just want to read this post through to the end. Wanna know why? Do you wanna know? Because last year, I won the Super Blogger Tournament Challenge Extravaganza.

Yeah, that's right. When it was all over, I barely beat crushed Complete Sports by one point to take the trophy that doesn't really exist I still drink ice-cold beer out of one year later. And after I wipe off my chin, I look at my reflection in the silver and laugh at how totally #@$%ing lucky I was awesome that victory was.

Essentially, I was the sports blog equivalent of the secretary winning the office pool.

So here's what I'm going to do: I'm not going through the entire bracket. Tony Kornheiser did that with a handful of experts on his radio show this morning, and after one or two repetitions of the bracket, I opted for my iPod. If I couldn't stand listening to it, I don't know how in the hell I can write it all out. Especially when you can find several dozen people in the blogosphere who know what the #@$% they're talking about. What I will write out are my first-round upsets and my Final Four picks. 'Cuz that's what the big boys like Dan Shanoff do (except a full nine hours earlier).

First-round upset winners:
Davidson, Georgia Tech, VCU, Gonzaga, and Creighton.

You might notice Michigan State isn't on that list. I couldn't pick the Spartans, as much as I wanted to. (Besides, is picking a #9 seed over a #8 really picking an upset?) Unless Tom Izzo pumps up his kids by taking them to a showing of 300 the day before the game, and/or kicks his old buddy Tom Crean into the deepest, darkest well in Winston-Salem after screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" MSU ain't beatin' Marquette. Sorry, Sparty. (That movie totally kicked ass, by the way.)

Final Four:
Florida, UCLA, Georgetown, and Tennessee.

Yeah, that's right- Tennessee. Either my sister's fiancee (Yes, Dr. Lil' Sis' boyfriend proposed to her last week. We're all happy about it - thanks for asking) has completely corrupted my objective opinion, I've been mystified by bare-chested coaches who paint themselves orange, or I might just have one of those hunches.

Did I mention that I won my bracket contest last year? You might want to take this post very seriously, my friends. I'm kind of a big deal with this stuff.

EDIT (03/13): I didn't pick an overall winner, did I? I really should do that. But it's a boring pick, which is probably why I forgot to post it originally. I have Georgetown and Florida in the finals, with the Gators repeating as national champions.

Happy Hour 03/09: You'll Never Hear From Dominic Rhodes Again

I didn't really have a strong opinion on the matter, but I thought Dominic Rhodes should've been named Super Bowl XLI MVP instead of Peyton Manning. His 113 rushing yards helped the Colts wear down that Bears defense, as they ball-controlled their way to victory.

Apparently, the Oakland Raiders felt the same way, because they've gone out and done what they always seem to do: Sign the Super Bowl MVP to a big free agent deal and watch him wilt under the pressure of his own overratedness.

How did Larry Brown and Desmond Howard do with the Raiders? How did cashing in Super Bowl stardom with Al Davis work out for them? Brown played 12 games in two seasons, snagging only one interception. Howard also only lasted two years, catching only six passes and returning just two punts for touchdowns.

A couple of weeks ago, Rhodes looked like a candidate for Dumbest Pro Athlete of 2007 when he was arrested for drunk driving before he could parlay his sudden stardom into a fat cash contract. But to Al Davis, that apparently showed the kind of menacing pirate streak that he still thinks the Raiders are made of. So naturally, they had to give him some cash. $7.5 million of it, to be exact. I suppose the Raiders learned one important lesson from their past, however. Rhodes only got a two-year deal.

Remember that game you had in the Super Bowl, Dominic? That was awesome...

Happy Hour 03/02: Call Him Trader Matt

Apparently, Matt Millen made some kind of New Year's Resolution that he intended to follow through on come March 1.

It's not the headline grabber that yesterday's Dre' Bly deal was, but the Lions made another locker room freshening deal today, sending defensive end James Hall to St. Louis for a fifth-round draft pick. Millen managed to get something for nothing at the last minute, considering Hall would've been cut had the Lions not been able to make a trade.

So if you're keeping track, that's two defensive captains the Detroit Lions have shipped out of town in two days. Hall gained a reputation as a hard worker, making the team as a free agent out of Michigan in 2000 (and notching an impressive 11.5 sacks in 2004). But between the constant losing and having to endure yet another rebuilding project, it's difficult to blame the guy for developing a sour attitude that probably wasn't going to change.

The theme of this off-season has become clear: you're either with Sgt. Marinelli or against him. So the Lions decided to make a move before they had to pay Hall a roster bonus. And the housecleaning caravan out of Allen Park is getting a bit crowded. Two of Hall's fellow defensive lineman - Marcus Bell and Tyoka Jackson - and tight end Marcus Pollard were also told their services were no longer needed. Offensive lineman Ross Verba was cut earlier in the week.

Here's something else that might be worth counting: Right now, the Lions have four fifth-round picks in the upcoming NFL Draft. Trader Matt could very likely not be done dealing yet.

Happy Hour 02/28: Non Sequitur Shots

♦ According to John Heuser of the Ann Arbor News, Steve Breaston's NFL Draft stock is rising, and Alan Branch's could be falling. David Harris and Leon Hall also impressed the scouts, while Prescott Burgess looked slow.

♦ As I've mentioned before, Dr. Lil' Sis' boyfriend is a huge University of Tennessee fan, so I got a reminder to watch last night's big game vs. Florida (which I might have watched anyway, since it was on right after Michigan-Michigan State) because Pat Summit was going to do something in response to Bruce Pearl's bizarro body paint bonanza.

I'm not saying I'd like to see it every night, but Summit leading the crowd in "Rocky Top" while dressed in a cheerleader outfit was pretty amusing. Again, it's just fun to see coaches who don't always take everything so damn seriously.

♦ Would Mark Cuban be the best or worst thing to happen to Major League Baseball if he bought the Chicago Cubs? I just watched a profile of him on HBO's Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, and admire that he refuses to sit upright with his feet placed together in David Stern's classroom. I'd love to see what sort of innovations and energy he could bring to baseball. However, it seems like the dude could be spreading himself awfully thin if he does this.

♦ Did you see MELblog's list of the top five Michigan running backs of the 1990s? I don't think I have any argument. But after reading that list, I'm still baffled that Tyrone Wheatley and Tim Biakabutuka had such terribly disappointing NFL careers.

♦ Speaking of lists, shouldn't there be at least one athlete in the top 10 at Mancrush.com? Or is it just too soon after the whole John Amaechi-Tim Hardaway uproar? (via Pop Candy)

♦ Would you watch a sports version of Best Week Ever? According to The Big Lead, that might be what ESPN has cooking. I think it sounds like a terrible idea. Fox Sports Net kind of already tried that with The Sports List, which was rather awful (despite getting to check out Summer Sanders) and lasted only a month.

Here's what it would come down to for me: I don't care what some slapdick stand-up comedian I've never heard of thinks of that week's Yankees-Red Sox series. If I want sports humor or snark, there are at least 25 places to find that on the internet. Now if ESPN was going to have sports bloggers on that show, that'd be a different story...

Happy Hour 02/27: T.K. on the Radio

I don't know how many people reading this were fans of Tony Kornheiser's old ESPN Radio show, but it holds a special place in my heart. To me, it was everything I could've wanted from a radio program. Not only did one of my favorite columnists and his cohorts talk sports, but they also discussed music, TV, and most importantly to me, movies (with one of my favorite film critics, Stephen Hunter).

As I'm sure many of you can relate to, I worked a few jobs in my twenties that ravaged my soul. Not that there's anything wrong with being a delivery driver, shipping/receiving clerk, or bakery manager. I worked for horrible people. But one thing that got me through many of those miserable days was that show. I could listen to it in the truck, shipping dock, or behind the counter.

I liked that Kornheiser discussed subjects besides sports (as he put it, the show was for sports fans who read the rest of the newspaper, too). And instead of athletes who generally say nothing but cliches, he talked to his colleagues, the writers who had some information and opinions to share. Best of all, it was funny. And without being stupid or resorting to juvenile "guy talk." He respected his listeners for being smart.

Actually, my love for Mr. Tony on the radio began even before those ESPN days, when I spent a week in Baltimore interviewing for an internship I eventually didn't take, and I listened to him on WTEM-AM while driving around. And when I went back to school at Iowa (which thankfully had a nearby affiliate), I actually tried to plan my class schedule around 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. That didn't work so well, and sounds absolutely crazy now.

But that was no longer a conflict for me when T.K. left ESPN Radio in 2004. (A month or so before that, however, I managed to get an e-mail read on the air, which was a small joy I was able to share with absolutely no one who cared.) And I think you could see that coming because there seemed to be quite a bit of friction (which made for entertaining radio) between Tony and his bosses over the content of the show (and his tendency to make fun of SportsCenter's talking heads). If you listen to his successor, Colin Cowherd, you can hear what the folks in Bristol likely preferred. It's polished, corporate, and slap-happy.

I don't want this to become a Tony Kornheiser Show retrospective, since you can get that at Wikipedia, but when he returned to WTEM nine months later, I was so excited I wrote about it on my personal blog and just wanted to post a link to that. Gratuitous? Shameless? Whatevs.

Anyway, all of this is just a hugely long-winded way of saying that Mr. Tony is back behind the mic, doing his thing for Washington Post Radio, and it's pretty much the show he was always meant to do - some sports (largely from a D.C. perspective), with pop culture and current events. (Although he talks about American Idol far too much, and is a little too sore about Dan Steinberg, who he calls "The Cheese Boy.") Unfortunately, his longtime loyal sidekick Andy Pollin (Andy Polley!) can't be with him this time, but he has a rotating set of cohorts to indulge his various neuroses. (TNT's David Aldridge joins him this week.)

But the best thing of all is that the new show has embraced the 21st century (which should amuse anyone familiar with Mr. Tony's curmudgeonry) and is available each day via podcast. (Even better, whoever's doing the recording and editing figured out that we don't need to hear D.C. weather and traffic.) Oh, if only I'd had this technology 10 years ago. But I am a happy man today. Of course, the show still stinks.

Happy Hour 02/26: Welcome Back to Detroit, Big Ben

I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't see yesterday's Pistons-Bulls game. Completely forgot about it. And it looks like I missed a good one. Was clearing out the DVR so I could record the Oscars really worth it? (Let me answer that for you: No, it wasn't.)

The booing Ben Wallace thing isn't that hard to figure out, is it? It's ingrained in the Detroit Sports Fan DNA; if you leave for someplace else, we'll take that personally. And Big Ben knows that. Sure, the booing seems somewhat inexplicable, considering that he was a key part of pulling the franchise out of the teal-George Irvine-Bison Dele era, gave DEE-troit BAS-ket-ball its identity, and helped bring the NBA championship back to Detroit. But this was the first chance Pistons fans had to get the disappointment of Ben Wallace signing with Chicago off their collective chest. And a key part of that last sentence is "signing with Chicago."

Not only were the Bulls a hated adversary through much of the 1990s, but Detroit and Chicago are just natural rivals. (How is it that the Chicago media gets that, while Detroit's is apparently baffled?) Plus, the Bulls have the look of an up-and-coming team that could someday supplant the Pistons in the East. What if one of "our guys" plays a role in that power shift? Had Big Ben signed with the Atlanta Hawks, there wouldn't have been the same outrage. (Hell, we'd probably be feeling sorry for the poor guy.)

But Pistons fans took their one shot, and now it's done. I would also argue that there was affection underneath those boos. Pistons fans wouldn't have made such a fuss if there hadn't been so much love to begin with. Applause with boos, you see. Next time, he comes back, I bet he gets a much warmer reception.

▪▪ When I saw the final two-point margin of the game, I first wondered what the Bulls were thinking. Are some people in the organization lamenting not making a deal at the trade deadline, if that's how close they might be to the Pistons? Or was this affirmation that they were right to hold onto their core young players, that if they just show a little more patience, this thing will come together?

▪▪ Check out this stuff from Steve Rosenbloom's blog at ChicagoSports.com:

The Bulls got mauled for 21 offensive rebounds by the Pistons, including the winner by Chris Webber. Fix this.

Then again, it's not like Webber will be a factor when it matters in the playoffs.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Bitter, party of one?

▪▪ If you haven't seen the Sid Hartman article from yesterday's Minneapolis Star-Tribune that had Flip Saunders emphatically repeating his denials of interest in the University of Minnesota head coaching job (and that there might already be a deal in place), here it is. (Hartman's been beating this drum for a while now.)

Happy Hour 02/16: Who Will #2 Work For?

Well, Natalie just beat me to this topic, but over lunch, I noticed that Scottie Pippen is thinking of calling it a comeback for one NBA lucky playoff contender this season. And it was at that point that my digestive system was considering what exactly to do with the sandwich I was scarfing down.

Let me try to be clear about this: I despised Scottie Pippen when he was Michael Jordan's #2 with the Chicago Bulls. It delights me that he still takes crap about sitting out the seventh game of a 1990 playoff series against the Pistons because of a migraine, in what might be one of the most infamous wuss-outs in NBA history. Four years later, Pippen also threw one of the most infamous snits in NBA history when he refused to play the final two seconds of a playoff game because Phil Jackson dared to run a play for Toni Kukoc (who ended up hitting the game-winning shot) instead of him.

And when Jerry Krause decided to break the band up after the Bulls' 1998 NBA title, Pippen opted to find another team with which he could tag along for a championship ride. He actually had a pretty good gig in Houston because he didn't have to be anyone's #2. He could be #3 to Hakeem Olajuwon and Charles Barkley. But that didn't work out for him, so he headed off to Portland where he could again play second, third, or fourth fiddle alongside Rasheed Wallace, Steve Smith, and Damon Stoudamire. No sense in putting any pressure on himself, right?

Pippen's Trail Blazers bandwagon never picked up any trophies either - though they came oh-so-close to an NBA Finals bid in 2000, but lost Game 7 of the Western Conference Finals after blowing a 13-point fourth quarter lead. But nobody's ever been able to squeeze more glory out of being a sidekick than Pippen. Hell, he took being a #2 all the way to that 50 Greatest NBA Players of All Time list.

So now, three years after taking a farewell lap with the Bulls, Pippen (now 41 years old) wants to make another hobo championship run, looking for another title-contending train to hop onto. According to alleged blog hater Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune (I think he's getting a bad rap there, by the way. Read what he actually said, not just the pull quotes), Pippen thinks he could not only make a contribution on the floor, but on the bench too, as kind of a player/coach. And the list of teams he could help - Suns, Lakers, Nuggets, Rockets, Spurs, Timberwolves, Heat, Cavaliers - is pretty long. Basically, if you have a winning record this season, your NBA team might be getting a call from Pippen's agent.

The only contender that Smith doesn't mention in his article is the Pistons. And here's where we're back to the indigestion I mentioned at the beginning of this post. Pippen might rule out DEE-troit BAS-ket-ball, thinking he could offer more to another team. And he's probably right about that. But - and I can't believe I'm writing this - Pippen could certainly help the Pistons. Many observers have assumed that Joe Dumars is still looking for one more piece to complete this year's team, especially someone that can help on the perimeter. And Pippen fills a lot of needs on Joe D's checklist.

He could back up Chauncey Billups at point guard. He can shoot the three. He can also back up Tayshaun Prince at small forward, where - perhaps most importantly - he could supply another body to stick on Gilbert Arenas, LeBron James, or Dwyane Wade in a playoff series. And as much as I've ripped Pippen here, he's been a good defensive player with a talent for steals. About the only thing he wouldn't help the Pistons with is getting rid of Flip Murray and Nazr Mohammed in exchange for his services.

I like to consider myself a proud man. But I could be persuaded to root for a jersey. I've already made significant progress in that area with Chris Webber. And hey, I've had plenty of practice converting my disdain for a former Chicago rival into admiration and support with Chris Chelios. If you had told the Ian of 10 Years Ago that Chelios would not only join the Red Wings, but also become one of his favorite players, Ian of 10 Years Ago might have taken a swing at you, and also tried to kick you as he was being held back.

So anything's possible. But wait a minute... is that a migraine I feel developing in my forehead?

Happy Hour 02/13: Fired Faster than Greased Lightning!

So if you're San Diego Chargers general manager A.J. Smith, do you wish you'd have just promoted Cam Cameron or Wade Phillips now?

I realize it probably wasn't looking very good with a big chunk of Marty Schottenheimer's staff running off to other gigs. But given how much chatter there was about Marty getting fired after San Diego was knocked out of the playoffs, isn't it now pretty clear that the Chargers really wanted to make a coaching change, but couldn't justify it after a 14-2 regular season, and the presumption that most of the band would get back together again?

But it's not like the Chargers won't have a stack of resumes to choose from. You could argue that the talent pool is even deeper now that the Super Bowl has passed. None of this "we'll have to talk after the playoffs" junk now. Or they could just talk to the other nine candidates Jerry Jones didn't hire in Dallas.

(By the way, do you think any of the guys who pounced on the six previous openings in the NFL are kicking themselves today? What's a better gig than taking over a 14-2 team?)

Reportedly, Schottenheimer clashed with Smith and team president Alex Spanos over trying to hire his brother Kurt as defensive coordinator. I'm guessing that upon receiving Marty's request, the following sentence might have been uttered by either Smith or Spanos: "Kurt Schottenheimer? Didn't Matt Millen fire that guy?" In the two years that Marty's younger brother oversaw the Detroit Lions' defense, they finished 30th and 28th in the NFL. Of course, he would've had far better players to work with in San Diego. But nepotism should only take a guy so far, don't you think?

▪▪ As you might imagine, Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz has already been mentioned as a potential replacement for Schottenheimer. (Jay Crawford pitched his name on ESPN's "1st and 10.") But is it saying something that John Clayton has him listed last, behind four no-chance candidates, among his 12 possibilities for the job?

Happy Hour 02/09: Kobe Explains All

Thursdays are more about regular TV than sports to me, but I did make sure to tune in for the Pistons-Lakers game last night. And it wasn't even because I thought it would be a compelling inter-conference match-up. No, I just like watching the Pistons beat Kobe Bryant.

It's even more enjoyable when Kobe beats himself, as he did in the 2004 NBA Finals. Natalie mentioned it in her game recap over at Need4Sheed, and I loved being reminded of that. Do you think Kobe realizes that if he had only passed the ball to Shaq more, it could've been a much different series? Ben Wallace simply could not stop The Big Aristotle in the post, yet Kobe had to make it about Kobe, so he kept jacking up threes and dribbling into traps.

But let's talk about the present. When Kobe's held below 20 points (on just 13 shots), I think you could call that a disappointing game for him. Eight turnovers would seem to confirm that.

Did the Pistons' combination of zone and man-to-man defenses frustrate Kobe? Was Detroit so successful because assistant coach Ron Harper understands how best to defend the triangle offense, as Phil Jackson (who, in what's become comically typical, gave the Pistons as little credit as possible) asserted?

No way! In the world according to Kobe, it's because those pesky Pistons just kept fouling him. Check out the last two paragraphs from the L.A. Times' game story:

Kobe Bryant had 18 points, eight turnovers and, by his count, five scratches on his arms from Pistons defenders.

"They have a reputation for their defense," Bryant said. "They got away with getting some of our guys across the arms."

Of course. What the hell were the Pistons doing out there? Didn't they know they're not supposed to touch Kobe? Tayshaun Prince isn't even supposed to look at Kobe. C'mon, he's the Black Mamba (which Detroit Bad Boys has hilariously pointed out is the name of a female Marvel Comics super-villain)! Hopefully, the memo gets to Detroit before the next time the Lakers come to town.

By the way, I don't know if Phil Jackson was only talking about this because he was asked about it by reporters while revisiting the site of his only championship loss, but if losing that series to Detroit is something still bugging him to this day, well, that brings a smile to my face.

Man, I love it when the Lakers come to town!