Sweaty Men Endeavors

The sports blog with the slightly gay name

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Happy Hour 01/10: Where might Mike Martz go?

Oh, sure he's going to stay in Detroit.

Actually, maybe Mike Martz really will be the Lions' offensive coordinator next season. It seems like a pretty sweet gig for him. He was greeted with celestial rays of light and rose-petal covered streets when he came to town. And Sgt. Marinelli lets him do whatever the hell he wants with the offense. He can sign and cut three wide receivers a week or get offensive line coaches fired.

Plus, if you watched a Lions game with the sound turned down this past year, you probably would've thought Martz was the head coach anyway, judging from how many times the camera shows him on the sideline.

He gets all of the credit, and none of the blame. Marinelli has to slog through those what-went-wrong-this-week press conferences. And if the offense doesn't perform, well, it's Matt Millen's fault for assembling such a piss-poor roster, right? Meanwhile, when he's not telling Mike Williams to lose weight, moving back-up QBs over to receiver, or comparing Jon Kitna to Kurt Warner, Martz can just sit in his office and draw plays with crayons on the walls.

But hey, nothing beats being the guy in charge. So we've had a few rumors swirling around Martz throughout the season. And that just feeds into Lions fans' inferiority complexes. No one believes that he'd really want to keep working for the Lions, right? Even if it means being the head coach for the Cardinals or Raiders.

Then we have the Dolphins. As soon as Nick Saban skulked out of Miami like a mouse ducking behind the fridge when you turn the lights on, Martz's name topped the list of potential replacements. And why not? He's essentially the anti-Saban, and how awesome would that offense look under the Florida sun?

Wayne Huizenga apparently thinks so, too, and while the rest of us are watching Pistons-Hornets, or Deal Or No Deal, he'll be meeting somewhere in Detroit with Martz about his currently vacant head coaching position. Since Huizenga's interviewed virtually every other candidate available, however (nine coaches, including the Rooney Rule-mandated minority prospect), I suppose it's not a certainty that Martz will be tanning with Don Shula this spring.

But c'mon, if you were Mike Martz and Huizenga came to interview you, jingling that Blockbuster change in his pocket, wouldn't you start calling realtors in South Beach? (And we already know he likes Joey Harrington - that is, if the Dolphins don't cut him.)

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  • At January 11, 2007 3:22 AM, Blogger Mini Me said…

    Mike Martz remains as OC. The Lions draft Brady Quinn. He starts Kitna next season, but Quinn is groomed. In the following year Martz and Quinn lead Detroit to the playoffs!

  • At January 11, 2007 6:59 AM, Blogger Ian C. said…

    Mini Me, you're optimistic and I dig that about you. But I think I echo the feelings of many Lions fans when I say that Brady Quinn has "Joey Harrington, v. 2.0" written all over him.

    I agree that they need to groom a QB while Kitna plays another one or two years in Detroit, but for now, there are so many other needs for the Lions to fill that I have a hard time endorsing using that #2 pick on a guy who won't contribute right away.

  • At January 11, 2007 10:40 AM, Blogger Big Al said…

    If Jamarcus Russell is there at 2, no way the Lions can pass him up. I agree w/Ian that the overrated Quinn is "Joey Blue Skies Jr."

    The big question, as noted by Mlive's killer Kowalski, is what do the Lions due if Calvin Johnson is there at #2? He's the consensus best player available, period. The Lions do need a receiver, as Furrey is a FA, and we all saw the rejects the Lions were running out there next to Williams. Does Millen dare take another wide out?

    For some reason, I just get the feeling that Martz isn't going anywhere. Not because he wants to stay, but due to the fact that he doesn't seem to be a good fit for the current openings.

  • At January 11, 2007 10:52 AM, Blogger Ian C. said…

    Yeah, the Calvin Johnson possibility is troublesome.

    But the Lions don't need a #1 receiver, so I don't think they take him there, even if he's the best available player. At least that's what I'm hoping.

    Of course, I don't think Millen cares if he catches $#!+ for drafting another wide receiver if it comes to that.


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