Sweaty Men Endeavors

The sports blog with the slightly gay name

Friday, August 11, 2006

Pre-Season Marinelli Era Begins: The Live Blog

7:30 - Are the announcers really going to compare Rod Marinelli to Monte Clark and Jon Kitna to Gary Danielson? Does the TV50 CW50 broadcast crew think the imaginations of Lions fans is that limited? Is that the kind of stuff they want to dredge up?

Did I miss something? Were Clark and Danielson Detroit's version of Walsh and Montana?

It is way too early in the (pre)season to be this irritated about something...

7:36 - Wait! What was that? Tight ends moving across the formation. Backs and receivers shifting from one side to another. Is that... motion?

7:37 - Yes, I'm that easily impressed. It's football in August.

7:38 - Okay, Kevin Jones just had a nice 12-yard run - a play you didn't see very much from him last year. Kelvin Pritchett, the analyst for this broadcast, noted that Jones ran with "extreme physicality" on the play. Except he said it the same way most of us would describe watching water run out of a faucet. Wake up, dude.

7:40 - A 19-yard pass from Kitna to Roy Williams on a seam route! Did Steve Mariucci know you're allowed to pass the ball more than 10 yards downfield in the NFL? Did the Lions have a 19-yard pass play last season?

7:43 - Some things never change. Jones drops an easy, short third-down pass. Here comes the field goal unit.

7:47 - Uh-oh, Frank Beckmann said Denver's David Kircus was from "Saginaw Valley State." Go get him, Lakers fans.

7:50 - After the commercial, Frank pleads a mea culpa to the Grand Valley State fans. And you always wondered what gets said into those headphones.

7:51 - Okay, really - who the hell is Mike Bell?

7:52 - And who is this Bodiford guy for the Lions? Anyone heard of him outside Allen Park? Is he even supposed to be in the game this early?

7:53 - Some things never change. Denver's Stephen Alexander catches an 8-yard pass on third down. First down, Broncos. Another former Lion comes back to haunt the Honolulu Blue and Silver.

7:56 - If I hear that "Get ready, cuz here we cooome" promo for the CW one more time, I might break something. Should a Detroit station run spots with mangled Motown music like that?

Quick - name two shows on that network based on those ads. (Okay, I can. Clearly I watch too much TV.)

7:58 - Dan Orlovsky takes over at quarterback for the Lions? Ahead of Josh McCown? Okay, let the speculation (and potential back-up quarterback controversy) begin.... NOW!

7:59 - And only one series for Kitna? Boy, he must've been sharp in practice this week. Or Mike Martz likes talking to him on the sidelines.

8:01 - Okay, seriously - what is up with Pritchett? I describe what I had for lunch with more enthusiasm and insight than this guy is offering. Did he threaten to sit on someone to get this gig?

8:03 - Cheech Rogers enters the game! Man, he looks good running in from the sideline. Quick. Head up. In other words, not high.

8:07 - TOUCHDOWN, LIONS! TOUCHDOWN, LIONS! Orlovsky to Arlen Harris out of the backfield for a 20-yard score! Shades of Kurt Warner to Marshall Faulk, my friends. NFL, consider yourself on notice!

8:08 - It's 10-0, Lions. I'm quitting while the home team is ahead. It can only go downhill from here, right? This is all the exhibition football I can take. If the starters aren't playing the whole game, I'm not live-blogging it.

Besides, the game that counts - Tigers vs. White Sox - is about to start. Verlander's starting, man!


  • At August 12, 2006 2:16 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    Nice recap, Ian. I watched about the last five minutes of the first half on the NFL Network. I just don't have any enthusiasm for the Lions right now -- or in any exhibition game for that matter.

    If you haven't seen it, here's a solid piece on Camp Marinelli from John Clayton:


  • At August 13, 2006 3:36 AM, Blogger Tim Moore said…

    the lions looked ok... and for them, ok is gold.


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