Sweaty Men Endeavors

The sports blog with the slightly gay name

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Happy Hour 01/17: Paying Off a Bet

While the rumors surrounding Chris Webber joining the Pistons burned hot last week, our favorite Denver transplant, Kevin Antcliff, often sent e-mail or instant messages asking if I'd heard any news that wasn't made its way out to Mile High country. As a big fan of Webber's, KA was decidedly more excited about his possible return to Detroit, while I looked inward to examine the grudge I still held.

Eventually, our discussion came down to this: Kevin thought Webber would sign with the Pistons, while I remained skeptical and figured he'd eventually go to another team that would either pay him more money or afford him a chance to avoid questions about his past indiscretions.

After "I think he will" vs. "I think he won't," where else is there to go? We'd get our answer in a day or two, and then move on.

So I asked K-Dog if he cared to make our little argument interesting. Probably because I was bored at that particular point of the weekend. But what were we to do? We weren't going to bet money. And even if we had cash to burn, what good would handing $20 over to the other really be? No, we had to come up with different terms.

And with Kevin reviving his personal website (Have you stopped by yet?) I thought it might be funny if he christened its return with a declaration of my greatness, an Ode to Ian, if you will.

It was either that or saying my name the next time he made love to his wife. Since that might make things a bit awkward for all involved, however (and because there was really nothing I could do to reciprocate such stakes on my end of the bargain), we decided to stick with the loser having to kneel before Zod and lavishly praise the winner and his wisdom on his blog.

Now that Webber has officially become a Detroit Piston and is set to debut tonight against the Utah Jazz, I have to pay off my foolish bet. So here goes:

Women want to be with him, and men want to be him. Kevin Antcliff is one of the greatest minds that the internet - especially the blogosphere - has ever known.

The banner on his site - KevinAntcliff.com - for one thing, is really, really cool and I'm totally envious. But he is also well on his way to establishing his own kingdom of media, between his work for the online edition of Mile High Sports Magazine, The Stampede (the official magazine of University of Colorado athletics), along with the totally awesome soon-to-debut website that will help all of us to lead healthier, happier, and more fulfilling lifestyles and undoubtedly compel sponsors to lavish him with ad revenue.

Kevin has also, in all sincerity, bravely documented his effort to lose 100 pounds on a blog, which is now titled The 68. (It began as The 100, which should tell you how he's been doing so far.)

Not only do I applaud his honesty and willingness to be so open about things many of us would be too embarrassed to reveal, but I admire the determination Kevin has shown toward bettering himself and achieving his goal. It would truly benefit me to follow his example.

But I don't want to get too serious and mushy here, so please allow me to highlight many of Kevin's other contributions to mankind, including the following:

♦ Kevin Antcliff totally came up with the iPhone before Apple, but didn't have Steve Jobs' money to bankroll the project. (Plus, he's already busy enough raising his two beautiful children, Riley and Madison.)

♦ The reason no one has ever found Bigfoot is that Kevin already found him - and killed him with his bare hands.

♦ Before pursuing the affections of Tom Brady, supermodel Gisele Bundchen asked Kevin if he wanted to go out to dinner. Kevin declined, however, because he is a devoted husband and father. But this is how great a guy Kevin is: He gave Gisele my phone number. Unfortunately for me, she said no - after she was done laughing hysterically.

♦ When making Superman Returns, Bryan Singer asked Kevin if he could change Superman's name to Kevin Antcliff. Kevin declined because he loves Superman, and quite frankly, he's just that humble.

♦ If you mention the name Kevin Antcliff to Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will hide under a table. And soil his trousers. So would Jack Bauer, if the writers of 24 ever had the guts to write that storyline.

But more importantly to this sports blog, Kevin clearly knows more about NBA basketball than I do. And I envy him for remembering how much joy Webber has brought to him as a basketball fan, rather than becoming jaded and holding onto a grudge.

You win, Kevin. This time.

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