Emmitt Smith: Keeping my man card safe

Thanks to former Dallas Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith for making it safe to watch Dancing With the Stars without jeopardizing the status of my Man Card.

For those of you who don't know, Smith is following in the footsteps of Jerry Rice, and will compete in ABC's next televised dance-off, beginning September 12.

Now, Emmitt just has to stay in the competition as long as Jerry Rice did last season, so I keep using him as an excuse for why I'm watching.

"Oh, I just wanted to see what Emmitt Smith was doing after retirement. Isn't it fascinating to see how someone so dominant on the football field could struggle on the dance floor? It's not just about muscles. This is about grace. Um... yeah, the dancer I'm dating tells me it's all about grace."

See how it works? And just between us, I've never dated a dancer. But really, shouldn't the number of hot women on the show earn me a pass with the Man Card Committee?

I don't quite remember how I got roped into watching this thing last season, but I did. And I fell for it harder than I'd like to admit. However in years past, whenever I've watched a reality TV competition (Survivor, The Amazing Race, etc.), I tend not to be interested the following year. I tune in to see what the hype's about, then it's flushed out of my system. We'll see if that's the case this year.

So you're my alibi, Emmitt Smith. Don't botch this. But I know you won't. You were a champion. And one of the toughest football players I can remember.

But you know what? You wouldn't see Barry Sanders doing this stuff. I'm just sayin'...

(Thanks to The Wayne Fontes Experience for the "Man Card" graphic.)