All That's Left is the Official Presser

It looks like it's as official as official gets: Your next Michigan men's basketball coach will be John Beilein.

From the Ann Arbor News:

West Virginia's John Beilein has agreed to be Michigan's men's basketball coach, four independent sources told The News Monday night.

Reached via phone, Michigan athletic director Bill Martin declined to confirm or deny the story.

Earlier Monday, a source confirmed Michigan had offered Beilein a contract, but said there was no timetable for a decision.

MGoBlog, Michigan Sports Center, and Maize n Brew have each confirmed the report through various sources.

Once the initial explosion of speculation occurred after Amaker's firing cleared out, this apparently became a rather narrow coaching search pretty quickly. But Michigan may not have had much choice once several other jobs opened up around the country. I'm guessing we'll never quite know the truth on that, though perhaps the introductory press conference will be enlightening. Hey, you never know.

By the way, it's not yet clear if Beilein will be introduced tomorrow. The first thing on the coach's agenda for Tuesday is to meet with his West Virginia squad and give them the news first-hand.

Here's some biographical info on Beilein, courtesy of the Ann Arbor News' Nathan Fenno.

From the Take It or Leave It Bureau, the Detroit News' Terry Foster says he hears that Beilein isn't interested in recruiting Detroit or Flint. Yet he doesn't pass along where he's heard such things, either. (Foster also said he heard Beilein may have soured on the Michigan job, which is obviously untrue one day later.)

▪▪ Meanwhile, it's also now being reported that Iowa has hired Butler's Todd Lickliter for their head coaching vacancy. And he will be introduced on Tuesday. (Here's the official announcement from the University of Iowa.) Does that affect how you feel about Michigan's choice, by any chance? Just curious.

Here's more on that from Steve Alford's Hair Gel.

Big Ten Basketball Jobs Are the New Thing This Spring

So if Michigan and Minnesota were eyeballing each other, looking at several of the same candidates to run their men's basketball programs, what happens now that Steve Alford is looking to bolt Iowa for the head coaching gig at New Mexico?

According to ESPN.com's Andy Katz, this is close to a done deal, and unless negotiations hit a snag, Alford will be announced as the Lobos' new coach on Friday.

Now we're looking at three head coach openings in the Big Ten? (Well, maybe it's two, if the Gophers job belongs to Flip Saunders.) The competition for coaching talent is suddenly getting pretty fierce.

On the bright side for the Iowa athletic department, at least they no longer have to worry about not being able to buy the FireSteveAlford.com domain now.

Meanwhile, here's a conversation topic you can discuss amongst yourselves: Is Iowa a better job than Michigan?

I'm sure I can guess what Wolverines fans would say, but I'd argue that they're remarkably similar, especially in terms of fan support. Iowa might have better facilities, but Michigan has a deeper pool of talent to recruit. But up until last season, I'd say Alford was under just as much pressure (if not more, due to the Pierre Pierce scandal) and scrutiny as Tommy Amaker.

UPDATE (3/22 - 2:30 a.m.): The Daily Iowan, the University of Iowa student newspaper, is reporting that Alford will inform his players of the move this morning at a team meeting.

Keep an eye on "my" Hawks...

The Washington Post has been running through its College Football Top 25 for the past week, and yesterday, they profiled #17 in their poll, "my" Iowa Hawkeyes.

The Hawkeyes look positioned to challenge Ohio State for the Big Ten championship. At the center of it is [Drew] Tate, who passed for 2,828 yards and 22 touchdowns last season. The star quarterback wants to make the most of his senior campaign in which he has at least an outside shot to win the Heisman Trophy.

I could be biased, but they're looking like a contender. The wide receiving corps worries me, with Ed Hinkel and Clinton Solomon gone. (Oh, Adrian Arrington - you could've helped your home state Hawks...) But if Albert Young picks up where he left off last season, the running game will be in great shape, and could make up the difference.

And the defense has to recover from losing Chad Greenway and Abdul Hodge, but have a couple of juniors ready to step in those linebacking slots. But every starter returns on the defensive line, and the veteran safeties should compensate for the inexperience at cornerback.

Ultimately, in Kirk Ferentz we trust. The only thing that should keep Iowa from being a perennial Big Ten power is Ferentz deciding he'd like to ply his trade in the NFL. But he's already turned down some great offers, so maybe he's a Hawkeye lifer. Fingers (and corncobs) are crossed.

Okay, carry on. I'll keep my thoughts of Iowa City and fried pork tenderloin sandwiches to myself...

Shining moments? BAH!

Previously on Sweaty Men Endeavors:

"... after the first day of games, I'm doing pretty well, going 13-3 with my picks, tying me for first place with Complete Sports."

"Along with Boston College, I have UCLA, Iowa (Is that a homer pick, now that I'm living in Michigan?), and Connecticut..."

"But things can change, of course, and change fast."

Well, so much for that. How's your bracket looking right now? Are your Final Four picks still intact?

It's a good thing yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, and there was beer easily on hand. After Jermaine Wallace's fadeaway baseline 3-point prayer went in with 0.5 seconds left to send "my" Hawkeyes to an embarrassing first-round defeat vs. a #14 seed, I curled up in the bathtub for almost an hour while the shower washed away my pain.

Wallace had his visions before the game. I'll be having visions for months after the game. And the clock's already running on the Steve-Alford-to-Indiana countdown.

I didn't even watch college basketball for the rest of the night. It was too painful. And, um, I zonked out early in the evening. So, of course, I was very surprised to see Michigan State go home, too. A 10-point loss to George Mason? Oooh, I bet nobody sat near Coach Izzo on the team bus afterwards.

Didn't I learn enough about karma from My Name is Earl? Don't go bragging about picks after the first day of the tournament, when all of the opening-round games haven't even been played yet.

On the bright side, I can now just sit back, watch the games, and enjoy them, rather than fret about how the outcomes will affect my bracket and chances of winning a pool. That's what I'll tell myself, anyway, as the taunting phone calls and e-mails pour in.

The life: college basketball and green beer

As I said last week while "NIT-picking" at the Michigan basketball team (who showed some passion against UTEP last night, in a 82-67 victory), it feels a bit strange to be writing about college basketball when I've barely paid attention to the sport all season.

For bloggers who really know what they're talking about on this subject, check out Complete Sports, which has been doing a great job covering the sport over the past few weeks, along with The Gatorade Dump, the live-blogging Deadspin, and of course, the one-stop shop for college basketball, Yoco Hoops.

But like most sports fans yesterday, I turned in my NCAA tournament brackets before noon and had the TV on most of the day to keep tabs on the opening games. And within a couple of hours, I came close to losing one of my Final Four picks in the first round. Oh, Boston College - you made me hug and bite things unnecessarily for most of the afternoon. I'm glad I was alone in such a vulnerable moment.

I'm also glad Bruce Pearl wore a darker suit for Tennessee's nail-biter against Winthrop. (Why can't I find a picture of Pearl completely sweating through his suit when I need one? Maybe it's for our own good.) And former Michigan coach Steve Fisher came oh-so-close to sticking it to an old Big Ten rival that often had his number.

(Speaking of Coach Fisher, if you missed it, the New York Times ran a feature on him in Tuesday's edition. His Aztecs have been through quite a bit. Incidentally, since I love making things all about me, I'd like to mention that our Ann Arbor phone number was apparently very similar to the Fisher household's. So when Fisher was fired by Michigan in 1997, we got a bunch of wrong-numbered calls from reporters.

I sometimes regret not working on my Fisher imitation so I could've fed quotes to the press, such as "Tom Goss #@$%ed me right up the @$$, man," "I use blush and apple butter to get my cheeks that rosy," or "Oh yeah, the baggy shorts and shaved heads were my idea. That's how I rolled in college." C'est la vie. I'm digressing, aren't I?)

Along with Need4Sheed, The Wayne Fontes Experience, Leelanau Sports Guy, Mickey Tettleton Memorial Overpass, the aforementioned Complete Sports, and a few others, I'm participating in Kevin Antcliff's Yahoo! tournament pool. And after the first day of games, I'm doing pretty well, going 13-3 with my picks, tying me for first place with Complete Sports.

I got the two upsets (Texas A&M and UW-Milwaukee) right, but wasn't exactly stretching with those picks. The one game I got completely wrong, thus exposing my shallow knowledge of college basketball, was Wichita State's 20-point victory over Seton Hall. Oops. (Oh, I'll pick the Big East team - that's a good conference!)

But things can change, of course, and change fast. Since I'm more than willing to brag when I do well, I'll post my Final Four picks here, so you can point and laugh when I'm wrong later. Along with Boston College, I have UCLA, Iowa (Is that a homer pick, now that I'm living in Michigan?), and Connecticut, with the Huskies my pick to win the tournament. Pretty safe picks, I suppose. But picking a UConn-Duke final didn't seem like too much fun.

How did I not follow this sport all season... ?

Okay, I'll be watching "my" Iowa Hawkeyes play at noon, here in Michigan. (Hopefully, the Lions won't sign another quarterback today and I can just enjoy some hoops.) Northwestern St. is going down, and going down hard. Hawkeyes fans are free to crash at my place this weekend, but it's B.Y.O.F, because my refrigerator is empty. And I hope you brought your own fried pork tenderloin sandwiches, 'cuz you ain't finding that around here.

Carry on with your bad selves and have a great weekend. Be safe with that green beer.

The 2005 Outback Bowl Live Blog

11:00 - Whoa, look at all those yellow t-shirts in the crowd! You think Iowa brought more fans to Tampa than Michigan would've? (Hee-hee, just kidding.)

11:03 - Okay, I can see what the early drinking game of the day will be. Will Kirk Ferentz finally leave for the NFL? (Our beloved Detroit Lions were mentioned as a team that's interested.) How many times will that be mentioned? How many sentences will begin with "this might be Ferentz's final game at Iowa..."?

11:04 - That sound you just heard was the collective anxious vomit from the state of Iowa. For the love of Hayden Fry, let those poor people enjoy the new year for one more day, ESPN.

11:07 - Florida blocks a punt, and takes it in for a touchdown! You know, you have to wonder if that'll be the last blocked punt Kirk Ferentz ever sees at Iowa.

11:11 - Chris Spielman just referred to Ed Hinkel as Drew Tate's "comforter." Chris, it's okay to say "blankie." You know it's what you were thinking. It's cute when big, tough linebackers say "blankie."

11:18 - There we go, our first Sun Belt referee crew reference. ("Don't worry, Conference USA used instant replay this year, unlike those savages in the Sun Belt! Ha ha ha!") You think that'll come up a few times today?

11:24 - Mark Jones once again said that Iowa linebackers Abdul Hodge and Chad Greenway are "inseparable." Did he learn something in his pre-game research that we didn't know? Are they picking out China patterns once they return to Iowa? Have they registered at Dillard's? Are any fishing trips to Wyoming in this tandem's future?

11:32 - Are we sure these refs don't have a little Sun Belt in them? If Hinkel catches the ball in bounds, but the Florida defensive back carries him out of bounds, shouldn't that be a good catch? Yeah, I thought so too.

11:37 - Did I just hear Greg Mattison's name? I didn't know he was on Florida's coaching staff. (Not that I follow such things very closely.) That makes it official: my dad would've rooted for Iowa in this game. (Well. he would've anyway.) But Dad couldn't stand Mattison, once he left Michigan for Notre Dame.

11:44 - I think the award for the freakiest "Welcome to the _______ Bowl" greeting goes to the scuba divers who said hello from inside the Florida Aquarium in Tampa. It was like hearing Darth Vader wish me a happy new year while his face was in a toilet. And the whole time a shark is facing these guys, ready to pounce! (Can you "pounce" underwater?) Guys! A shark! Who gives a #$@% about the Outback Bowl?

11:53 - Spielman said it: Iowa's offense needs to figure out an answer for Florida's pass rush. They're not blocking the blitz, and Tate has to sling the ball as soon as it's snapped to him. You know, this could be Kirk Ferentz's final game at Iowa. He probably doesn't want to see his quarterback killed.

11:59 - Nice drop, Damien Sims! An easy checkdown pass for a first down goes right through his hands. It's clear what the Hawkeyes need right now: Shawn Bryson.

12:00 - Spielman just used Bill Raftery's line, "with the kiss." Okay, that was a little funny, given the hit Florida's guy just laid on Iowa's guy. (I'd be an excellent color commentator.) But don't do that again, Chris. Not cool.

12:05 - Did you see the old couple sipping the sangrias? That looks like the life. Yep. When I retire, I want to spend the biggest day in college football in some restaurant with a view of the bay, sipping drinks with my wife, wondering whether to order the shrimp salad or club sandwich. This is why old men find women 20 years younger, and make them trophy wives.

Read more! Live blogs won’t make you go blind…

12:14 - Vernell Brown returns a Tate interception 60 yards for a touchdown. $#!+. So Iowa's down by 17 points, and their defense has only allowed a field goal. This isn't looking good. Where the #@$% was Tate going with that throw?

12:23 - Tate to Clinton Solomon, touchdown! Not the prettiest throw from Tate, judging from the replay, but it was right where it needed to be. It's too bad Solomon had trouble getting it together during his Iowa career. This guy should've been a great receiver for the Hawkeyes, instead of pretty good.

12:30 - Lil' Sis just called. Marcus Schnoor, the one Hawkeye player I met during my time in Iowa city, drew a roughing the kicker penalty, giving them a shot at another touchdown. "What's up with your boy?" When did little sisters start taunting their big brothers?

12:36 - Sure enough, Florida gets a touchdown, on a pass from Chris Leak to Dallas Baker. (After a completely bullshit late hit penalty on Iowa's Kenny Iwebema, by the way. Oops, did I type that?)

12:40 - I haven't watched all of the bowl games (actually, this is only my second of the season), but does ESPN's Rob Stone win the award for most inane questions to a coach before halftime? "Coach, Vernell Brown's touchdown - what did that mean to you?" I bet he was pretty #@$%ing happy about it, Rob. Even Urban Meyer was struggling for an answer.

12:44 - Halftime break. Raise your hand if you haven't been fired from your NFL head coaching job this morning. You think this could be Kirk Ferentz's last game at Iowa?

1:10 - Did Ferentz just blow off Rob Stone as he came out on the field? Oh, he was having a word with the referees? Sure, he was, Rob. He saw that "What did Kenny Iwebema's penalty mean to you?" question you had ready for him. Or were you going to ask him whether or not this is his last game at Iowa? Out of the way!

1:20 - Tate completes a pass to Scott Chandler, right as he takes a shot in the mouth. He's a little guy, but tough as hell. Maybe we could get the young man a mouthpiece out there, however. I'm sure he likes his teeth.

1:24 - And Kyle Schlicher misses a field goal. I hate all college kickers. Aren't they all seem terrible right now? Every game, field goals - even easy ones - are missed left and right.

1:32 - Leak to Baker again for a touchdown. 31-7. That just looked way too easy. This game is most likely officially over. As if on cue, my friend Mis Hooz calls from New York to wish me a happy new year. She claims she's not watching the game. Yet how did she know when to call?

1:50 - So here's the dilemma we can surely all relate to. Do I tell my friend I'll call her back after the game, even though it's probably over? She'll get mad at me if I blow her off for football. "Just TiVo it," she'll say, knowing that I'm still a member of VCR nation. But I appreciate her calling, so we start talking about our ho-hum New Year's Eves, and - wait, was that a muffed punt by Florida?

1:55 - Tate to Hinkel for a touchdown! 31- 14! Is this a game again?

1:56 - Play-by-play man Mark Jones says Iowa scored on a "jailbreak screen." Every pass play under five yards is a jailbreak screen to Jones. Do you remember when he was paired with Bob Davie, and they'd spend the afternoon talking about jailbreak screens, calling jailbreak screens, analyzing jailbreak screens, hoping their daughters could date jailbreak screens, etc.?

1:57 - Okay, Hinkel caught the ball behind his lineman, so it wasn't really a slant. But was it a "jailbreak" screen? Here's where I admit I don't even know what the hell that is. But according to Spielman, the play worked because the ball "went to a football player." How can we at home figure that out? The pads, the helmet? Are you sure it's not a basketball player, Chris?

2:05 - Notice how bold I am talking about Chris Spielman from 1,000 miles away? Yeah, that's right. Ain't so bad.

2:10 - And according to Spielman, Chris Leak is, well, a pussy. The young man slid to the ground, rather than take on the Iowa linebackers to get a first down. And that's why Urban Meyer's making his offense go for it on 4th-and-1. "You will run the ball in the Urban Meyer Spread Offense, you candy-ass! Stick your head in and get that yard, woman!" I'm a great lip reader.

2:13 - Leak needs to "take a tough pill," says Spielman! Oh, like Spielman's so tough. What, did you play a whole season with a torn pectoral muscle or something, Mr. Big, Tough Linebacker? Oh, right. He did. I remember that.

2:16 - Touchdown, Iowa! A 14- yard pass to Hinkel, following a 25-yard run by Tate. This is definitely a game! Wait, what did Spielman just say? Did he call Hinkel and Tate "true bulldog warriors"? Bulldog warriors, mutha#@$%a! Let's together and eat raw meat after the game! Washed down with some sangria by the bay, of course.

2:24 - Oooh! What a hit by Abdul Hodge on Leak! BAM! "The beatdown!" That'll keep you a candy-ass.

2:25 - A fake punt by Florida. Dammit. Ran right over "my boy" Schnoor for the first down, too. (Actually, he read the play well. Just didn't get there in time.) Urban Meyer's not a candy-ass. That call took some huevos. But is he a bulldog warrior?

2:32 - Dallas Baker is officially a Hawkeye killer today. Two straight catches for first downs. I think I could name my kid Dallas. Dallas Casselberry. Not bad. Has a better ring to it than Des Moines Casselberry.

2:36 - Mark Jones just asked Spielman if he was the one with a lampshade over his head on New Year's Eve. There's a visual for you. Would a man who once played with a torn pectoral muscle wear a lampshade? Bulldog warrior, mutha$@#%a! Raw meat!

2:38 - And maybe Meyer's too much of a gambler. Instead of kicking a field goal and putting the game out of reach, Florida doesn't convert on fourth down and gives the ball back to Iowa. Did Urban see last year's Capital One Bowl?

2:40 - The referees missed 12 men on the field for Florida? Are you #@$%ing kidding me? Doesn't anyone call illegal substitution penalties anymore? What, do they allow that in Conference USA?

2:45 - Schlicher makes a 45-yard field goal! Damn, I love college kickers. Man, there's been some excellent play at that position. You see a lot of these guys make big kicks these days. And if he nails the on-side kick here, I'll never write another bad word about kickers. Until next September.

2:48 - Scott Chandler gets the on-side kick! That was a perfect bounce! YES! Wait, did Spielman just say there's a flag on the play. Oh, $#!+.

2:49 - Off-sides?!?! What the #@$%?! And replay is showing Greenway wasn't off-sides! He wasn't past the line of scrimmage! Are you #@$%ing kidding me?! Spielman's ready to kill someone. "Unconscionable!" What the fuck is up with the referees in these bowl games? Mandatory eye tests for everyone!

2:50 - The Oxford English Dictionary just called. They have a new definition for "bullshit." Dammit! That was a terrible call. Do these guys have lunch reservations at Outback Steakhouse? Keep 'em away from Spielman. And anyone in Hawkeye yellow, for that matter.

2:51 - Florida kneels it down to end the game. Final score: Florida 31, Iowa 24. Ferentz should just attack one of the referees. What's the NCAA gonna do, fine him? He's leaving for the NFL, haven't you heard?

2:52 - Please don't leave Iowa, Kirk. Especially for the Lions. That would rip some kind of dark, sucking karma hole in my personal football universe. And I could never face any fellow Hawkeyes again.

2:55 - I don't think I can take much more college football. The officiating is affecting my blood pressure. Oy. And the armrests on my chair are getting torn apart. Okay, okay - I'll watch the Fiesta Bowl and the Rose Bowl. But after that, I'm done. Until September.

Forget the Alamo

As regular readers of Sweaty Men Endeavors (and my mother ship blog, Fried Rice Thoughts) likely know, I'm a graduate of the University of Iowa. But I've spent most of my life in Ann Arbor, rooting for the University of Michigan. I've been a conflicted man over the past two years, an Ian divided, and to paraphrase George Costanza, "an Ian divided against itself cannot stand!"

So Sunday's announcement that the Outback Bowl chose Iowa for its game over Michigan was a tough one for me. Like all Michigan fans, I was angry over the Wolverines getting snubbed. And that was an outright snub; Michigan is the higher-ranked team, and oh yeah, beat Iowa (at Kinnick Stadium), which should be the ultimate tie-breaker. I'm disappointed to see the January bowl game streak come to an end, and would've preferred a match-up against a Florida team with Urban Meyer and Chris Leak.

I'm not as disappointed as Schembechler Hall ("like making out with the hot girl's not-nearly-as-hot friend") and MGoBlog ("by 'enjoy,' I mean 'tolerate'"), but I'll admit I'd be much more interested in the Alamo Bowl match-up with Nebraska if the 1997 teams from each school suited up. Go get Scott Frost and Jason Peter to suit up for Nebraska. Michigan, call up Charles Woodson and Brian Griese. (Or maybe since Griese blew out his knee this season, they can play Tom Brady instead. That's fair, isn't it?)

But maybe the old college football adage - if you have to lose, lose early in the season - applies here. Michigan's loss to Ohio State is fresher in the mind, while Iowa ended the season with two big wins over Wisconsin and Minnesota. Ultimately, an Alamo Bowl bid seems like an appropriate end for Michigan's season - a mediocre bowl to commemorate a mediocre season. Neither lives up to previously high expectations.

Of course, my inner Hawkeye is thrilled. Iowa's own January bowl streak continues, which I hope further cements the football program's place as a growing Big Ten and national power. Beating Florida again would be a big step toward attaining that status. (And if it's anywhere near as exciting as last year's Capital One Bowl victory over LSU, I'll need to watch the game in a padded room for my own protection.)

Overall, I'm feeling bittersweet. Iowa didn't deserve to be chosen over Michigan. Yet the Outback Bowl believes Iowa will bring more fans to Tampa. I initially found that hard to believe, but maybe there's some truth to that opinion. Would Michigan fans buy fewer tickets, still sore from a disappointing season? Would they save their money and vacation plans in hope and anticipation for a better bowl game next year?

Michigan's probably received a more prestigious bowl bid or two based on reputation and their traveling fan base, so getting passed over for similar reasons shouldn't cause many hard feelings. Unless you think this indicates something more ominous. Dave Dye touches on this fear in the Detroit News' Big Ten Blog - are the times a-changin' for the Michigan football program?

But maybe the Outback Bowl's reasoning is a bit simpler. Never underestimate the desire of an Iowan to go somewhere else when he or she has the chance. Those winters are brutal, and any opportunity to enjoy sunshine and fun over cold and isolation will be taken enthusiastically. (And if you think Ann Arbor's a ghost town while the students are gone, try looking for a soul to talk to in Iowa City when school's out. Remember the scene in 28 Days Later when Cillian Murphy's character wakes up from his coma and wanders through London? It's something like that, with those staying behind to get drunk filling in for the zombies.)

Either that, or the bowl officials were impressed by Iowa's ability to blow up press boxes.

And it's not just bowl games Iowa's taking away. They're coming into Michigan and getting players, too. Of course, Michigan got Adrian Arrington last year, so that probably evens out. Maybe the best recourse would be for the Detroit Lions to hire Kirk Ferentz as their head coach. Wait a minute - what am I saying? I don't want that. Not as an Iowa fan or a Lions fan.

See? An Ian divided against itself cannot stand!

Snoooooozer - Did I miss anything?

Full disclosure: I fell asleep at halftime, and didn't wake back up until the fourth quarter. But hey, Michigan looked sleepy to begin the game. Once Indiana provided the cold splash of water by scoring a touchdown on their first drive, however, they never had a chance.

Had I not been told that Matt Gutierrez had been playing since halftime, I probably would've stayed asleep. But I wanted to see the guy play. And I did see that nice, light-on-his-feet 12-yard run. Along with play-action fakes that were apparently so good that the ESPN2 cameraman kept following Gutierrez long after the running back had moved upfield. (And I missed 1/4 of the game, but was that some of the worst camera work you've seen for a nationally televised game recently?) Of course, there was that fumble, but that was a nice play by the Indiana defender. (Adeyanju?) It'll take me until next season to stop wondering what kind of weapon has been sitting on the bench.

(Photo by John T. Greilick / The Detroit News)

I'll have to man up and make sure I get enough sleep during the week, so I'm not sleepy for Michigan-Ohio State. But if Michigan wants to run out to a 41-7 lead in that one, I'd be happy to snooze through the rest of the game.

♦ I thought Chad Henne (17-for-24, 174 yards, three touchdowns) looked sharp yesterday. I know - consider the competition. But Michigan needed Henne to play well at first, because Michigan's running game had trouble clicking.

♦ Garrett Rivas should consider changing his first name to Jesus. I invoked his name - Jesus, Rivas! - twice yesterday after his missed field goal and extra point. And I'm sure the same happened in front of many TVs yesterday. But I breathed deeply and remembered MGoBlog pointing out that somehow, Rivas is actually one of Michigan's best all-time kickers.

But let's talk about the real heroes yesterday. Fellow Michigan fans, how much do you love "my" Iowa Hawkeyes today? C'mon, you watched the game on ESPN, right?

Drew Tate threw for two touchdowns, and Albert Young (who's only a sophomore - watch out) ran for 127 yards, which adds credence to those "Michigan would've won that game if Mike Hart had been healthy" beliefs. And when Wisconsin needed to get the ball back on offense, they couldn't stop Iowa from pushing them around and opening holes for Damien Sims. I haven't been able to see all of Iowa's games this season, but if that wasn't the offensive line's best performance of the season, I'd be surprised. Sorry, Barry.

Now, all of those chaos theory scenarios - Well, if Wisconsin loses their next two, MSU beats Penn State, I wear my lucky jersey, the moon is in waxing crescent... - Michigan needed for a Big Ten championship and BCS bid are falling into place. But can MSU really beat Penn State next week? No, I don't think so, either.

And my little sister says they're jumping up and down in South Carolina after Spurrier beat his alma mater and Son of Bowden defeated Father Bowden. Everyone's happy this morning at Sweaty Men Endeavors! Let's go have a McGriddles!

Killing some time

♦ So are all my fellow Michigan fans joining me today in rooting for Iowa? C'mon, it's okay. You need the Hawkeyes today, my friends.

♦ My favorite thing about the NBA season so far, besides the Pistons' 6-0 start? The Indiana Pacers' new uniforms. It's not that I think they look great or spectacular. They're just not those ungodly yellow-with-blue-pinstripes monstrosities we've all had to look at for the past eight years. My retinas couldn't take looking at those things for another seven-game playoff series. So thank you, Pacers.

(Photo by Frank McGrath/ Pacers)

♦ But don't get too excited, Indiana. Did I mention the Pistons were 6-0? Sure, it's still early in the NBA season, and this was kind of a short road trip, but any time an Eastern team finishes a West Coast swing undefeated, that's impressive.

♦ Week 10 of the NFL season, and I've finally finished Sports Illustrated's NFL preview. Just in time. Now I can sound like an expert. Loved the features on NFL playbooks and how a play is designed and implemented. If you didn't know or remember, SI picked the Carolina Panthers to win the Super Bowl. That pick ain't lookin' too bad. The Panthers certainly look like the best team in the NFC right now. Of course, SI also picked the Lions to finish 3rd in the NFC North, above the Bears. All the picks can't be gems.

Sorry, Herky

Is it possible to type with no fingertips? Somehow I'm doing it. The past two weeks, I've gnawed them from the nails down to the bone. (Actually, the last five weeks have been nerve-wracking.) Yesterday's 23-20 defeat of Iowa wasn't quite as defibrilating as the last-second win over Penn State, especially once the Hawkeyes had to settle for a field goal in overtime. But it was dramatic right until the very end.

My first thought after Jerome Jackson scored the winning touchdown - and this is from a guy who's spent the last two years drinking the water that Kirk Ferentz walks on in Iowa City - was this:

The head coach blew the game for Iowa. Lloyd Carr's critics love to criticize him for the team's conservative philosophies on offense and defense (100 victories, by the way), but Ferentz was the one who tightened up and puckered at the end of the fourth quarter.

(Image by Harry Baumert/ The Des Moines Register)

Iowa's offense had driven 67 yards down the field to Michigan's 15-yard line. Drew Tate and Herb Grigsby just connected on a spectacular 30-yard pass play. A touchdown seemed imminent. Michigan's defense was reeling. And then Ferentz let them off the hook by settling for a game-tying field goal. Iowa didn't even take one shot at the end zone, with two timeouts in its pocket, and 1:10 left on the clock? Are you kidding? Did you have that little confidence in your quarterback? Were you that afraid of a turnover? C'mon, Kirk - let your kids go for the win.

A little Herky sat on my shoulder, stroked my ear with his feathers, and tried to rationalize Ferentz's strategy. "You have to at least tie the game," he told me. "You can't lose the game when you're that close." And for a minute, I listened. Of course Ferentz made the right decision. He's the best coach in the Big 10, right?

Sorry, Herky - I ain't buyin' it. The memory of Pete Carroll going for the win last week at Notre Dame is too fresh in my mind. Michigan was on its heels, defensively. You can't just go to overtime and figure you have the advantage because you're at home, where you've won 22 straight games. And yes, your defense has played well, but have you seen how Michigan plays in clutch situations? Hell, I'd argue you're putting more pressure on your team by taking the game to overtime.

But that's looking at the game through Hawkeye-colored glasses. I'll put my maize-and-blue blockers on now. (This, by the way, is why you should follow Bill Simmons' rules for sports fans. "You cannot root for two teams at the same time. You cannot hedge your bets. You cannot unconditionally love two teams at the same time, when there's a remote chance that they might go head-to-head some day." Not just for credibility's sake, but for your health, both mental and physical.) I think that was Michigan's most impressive win of the season.

"What? Are you nuts? More impressive than Penn State? Weren't they ranked #8?" That's what my sister - who got to watch the game in South Carolina this week, thanks for asking - said to me when we talked afterwards. (She also wonders how, as a Midwesterner, I can root for the Astros in the World Series.)

Hell, yeah. How many of you thought Michigan was in big trouble once Mike Hart's couldn't play on his twisted ankle? How many games has Michigan won with #20 out of the lineup? Then Jerome Jackson reminded us not only that he was still on the roster, but that he was once a starter at running back. 44 yards on 11 carries? The game-winning touchdown? After being buried at fourth-string and barely sniffing the field? A guy coming out of nowhere to be the hero is just the kind of story that makes sports so compelling to watch.

LaMarr Woodley hurt? C'mon in, Pierre Woods. Chris Graham, you can't go? John Thompson! You're not the former Georgetown basketball coach and current Washington D.C. sports talk radio host? Okay, get in there and play a hell of a game! Woods called him "baby Ray Lewis" after the game, and as Brian points out at mgoblog, the defense was much better with Thompson in the lineup.

Look at the Hawkeye streaks Michigan snapped yesterday. Besides the 22-game winning streak at Kinnick Stadium, here are the other trends Michigan ended (courtesy of Andy Hamilton of the Iowa City Press-Citizen): The Hawkeyes hadn't lost at home since 2002 (vs. Iowa State), they hadn't trailed in a home game since 2003 (vs. Minnesota), and hadn't blown a fourth-quarter lead in its last 35 chances.

Other thoughts rattling around in my head:

♦ Did Chad Henne at least buy Jason Avant a pizza after the game? Man, he should've. Avant's leaping, twisting 18-yard catch in overtime probably won the game for Michigan.

♦ Was that a pass play that Michigan ran with Antonio Bass at quarterback? (Is that the last one they'll call? Avant totally bailed Bass out, catching that thing you'd call a pass.)

♦ Speaking of Bass, what the hell were the replay officials looking at when they said he fumbled in the fourth quarter? What part of "the ground cannot cause a fumble" do those guys not understand? Was there some super-secret camera angle shown in the replay booth that we didn't get to see at home? Fortunately, it wasn't a factor in the game's outcome. Here's my second Pete Carroll mention of the day; if that's how instant replay is going to work out, I'm with him - don't use it.

♦ Pat Harty of the Press-Citizen isn't surprised Iowa lost. He just can't believe how sloppily the Hawkeyes played.

♦ My inner Hawkeye still can't help but wonder how Iowa's offense would look with Adrian Arrington at wide receiver. Oh, were they bitching about that one in Iowa! Cest la vie.

♦ And this is a different game entirely, but what the hell was this? That's the effort you bring for Homecoming? Michigan only beat these guys by three points? Are you nervous about Northwestern next week?

A house divided

Can a young man get in a quickie Michigan-Iowa blog before the game is over? I wanted to post this yesterday, but something... er... hell, I don't know what came up. Anyway. Just before the game starts, I'll try to squeeze some predictions in. But first, please indulge me as I fill in some background.

It's a conflicted day for Casa de Casselberry, largely a Michigan household. But for one Saturday a year, there's one lone holdout. Me. See, I was born and raised in Ann Arbor. Michigan has always been my team. Virtually every Saturday, I'd sit in front of the TV with my Dad, watching the Wolverines, and agonizing over every play. If they won, of course it was a good day. If they'd lose, we'd spend hours wondering what the hell happened. Just like every other Michigan fan. And life moved on normally.

Then I had to go to school at Iowa (I'll spare you the "why" details), and things changed a little bit. Of course, I still rooted for Michigan, riding the emotional roller coaster with my Dad each Saturday. And I knew Iowa City was only going to be a temporary stop for me, so I never really fully embraced the place. But a little trickle of black-and-gold found its way into my maize-and-blue blood. I couldn't help it. The people were just too nice, and the school was very, very good to me. It took two years, but somewhere in my chest, there's a soft spot for the Hawkeyes. And that's made the Michigan-Iowa football game a little more interesting in my family.

Now that I'm back in Ann Arbor, however, it's been difficult to keep up with all things Hawkeyes. (Hell, I've learned more about this year's Iowa team, and how they look going into the Michigan game, from mgoblog than any other resource. And I owe a tip of the gratitude cap to Brian for linking over here the past couple of weeks and giving my fledgling readership a boost. Thanks, YMMFer.) I've fallen back into the old patterns with Michigan. It's like slipping back into that old comfortable pair of jeans that you haven't worn all summer but feel great when the weather gets cooler.

So what about the game, Ian? Okay, okay - enough of the sepia-toned nostalgia. Here's what I think: I wonder if the spectacular win over Penn State covered up the flaws that this Michigan team still has? Chad Henne, up until the fourth quarter, wasn't playing that well. And the defense let Penn State put together some big drives. If Michigan hadn't scored with no time left, and there would've been an opportunity to drive back down the field, could the defense have stopped Penn State? Of course, we'll never know and it doesn't matter. That was the kind of win that can ignite a team and turn around a season.

Iowa's struggled, too. They had two bad, 20+ point losses to Iowa State (??) and Ohio State. And it's difficult to say just how good this team is, when their last three wins were earned against Illinois, Purdue, and Indiana, the chafe of the Big 10. The defensive line lost key players to graduation. And the secondary is banged up. But if the linebackers can manage a pass rush, Henne's shown he doesn't always react well to pressure.

Another encouraging thing for Iowa is its running game. It's back, which is to say, they actually have one. Last year, virtually every single running back on the roster got hurt. The Hawkeyes were about three pulled hamstrings and sprained ankles from asking me for a tryout. And, well, I can't run. Shifty, but no speed. And I'm short. Healthy hamstrings, though. Anyway, Michigan's struggled defending the run, so if Iowa can gain yards on the ground, its offense - despite the injury to #1 receiver Ed Hinkel - looks damn good. Michigan's defense was already going to have a hard time trying to keep tabs on the elusive Drew Tate, who runs and throws well.

My sister tried to give me shit this week; "You're not going to root for Iowa, are you?" Well, Lil' Sis, I'm torn. (See above.) A loss to Iowa would essentially crush Michigan's chances for a Big 10 championship (admittedly slim) or a New Year's Day bowl game (which has become something of a given for Wolverine fans). Yet I know how special a win over Michigan would be for Iowa. The PedMall would be a non-stop party Saturday and Sunday.

So maybe it's a copout, Lil' Sis, but I just want a good game. Am I biased? Maybe, but your guess is as good as mine which way that turns. Call it a gut feeling, with a little bit of Crash Davis ("Never fuck with a winning streak!") thrown in for Iowa's record at Kinnick Stadium (22 wins in a row), but I think we're looking at a divided Casa de Casselberry.

Iowa 20, Michigan 16.

The grass is always pinker

It was a normal enough fall afternoon. I was toolin' around town yesterday, running errands, and flipping between sports talk radio and music on the car radio. Then I heard this story on WXYT-AM's "The Big Show."

Somebody - or a group of somebodies - snuck past security at the University of Iowa's Kinnick Stadium late Thursday or Friday night, before Iowa's game with Illinois, and sprayed herbicide on the field, burning the words "IOWA SUCKS" into the grass.

Initially, no one knew what had happened. Then, toward the end of Saturday's game, "SUCKS" apparently began to materialize. Maybe people thought it was just an illusion - a product of hangover or heartburn. A couple of days later, however, the herbicide finished its job and the whole message became visible.

(Image via The Daily Iowan)

The hosts of "The Big Show" - Doug Karsch and Art Regner - speculated that Illinois fans were responsible for the prank, since Iowa was playing Illinois. A reasonable assumption, of course. But according to each of the reports I read, there's no reason not to suspect, say, Iowa State fans. (On the other hand, "sucks" is spelled correctly, so you can probably scratch them off the list.) Or disgruntled Iowa students. You always have to watch out for those high school kids, of course. And maybe people pissed off with Kinnick Stadium's pink visitors' locker room (more on that later) did the deed.

Soon after getting home, I found an image of the vandalized field at mgoblog. Oh, man. No, they didn't. Holy shit. Look at that!

(Image via KCRG.com)

You know... normally, I'd probably think something like this is pretty damn funny. College football pranks often make for hilarious stories. But I like that field, man. During my stay in Iowa City, I worked up a healthy affection for the Hawkeyes and their football home. It took two years, but the place (and the people) eventually wore me down and I converted to a Hawkeyes fan. And I truly enjoyed my one-and-only visit to Kinnick Stadium for Iowa's game vs. Purdue last season. It's a great place to watch college football.

Damn. Look at that! Iowa just replaced that sod a few weeks ago, because a brutal summer burned it up. It cost $150,000. There's an argument for switching to FieldTurf, if I've ever seen one. I'll contribute to the cause, guys. Put me down for $20. I'm good for it. Unless you still haven't spent all that parking ticket money you got out of me. If not, go ahead and put that $100+ toward the field.

But that's not the only story involving Iowa and Kinnick Stadium right now. Last week, two Iowa law school professors, Erin Buzuvis and Jill Gaulding (who sound like two huge fucking barrels of laughs), criticized the football program and its visitors' locker room for its pink color, and called upon the school to turn its back on a 25-year tradition and paint the room a shade of something else.

What's wrong with pink? According to the two professors - along with other faculty and students who have joined in their protest - the use of pink in the locker room perpetuates stereotypes about women and homosexuals that promote weakness and effeminacy. (As Sally Jenkins wrote in the Washington Post, this could set one hell of a precedent. Maybe the makers of Pepto-Bismol should start consulting lawyers. Are they calling indigestion sufferers "sissies"? Hmm, they could be next on the list.)

(Image from the Associated Press)

Why was the locker room pink in the first place? Former Iowa football coach Hayden Fry, a psychology major, read that pink had a calming effect on people and thought it might pacify opponents. Presumably, this would give his Hawkeyes a psychological advantage when both teams took the field. So the locker room walls were coated with a warm tone called "Dusty Rose." (That sounds kind of tough, doesn't it?)

During Kinnick Stadium's recent renovation, Iowa's athletic department took the opportunity to expand on this piece of Hawkeye football lore. Now, it's not just the locker room walls that are pink. Everything in the damn room is pink. This time, the shade is called "Innocence." The carpet, the chairs, the sinks, the urinals, the toilets, the tiles - it's all pink. Elle Woods would love it!

Did it work? Well, it apparently had quite the opposite effect on former Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler. Legend has it that Schembechler went ballistic when he saw the visitors' locker room and ordered his assistant coaches to put paper over the walls before his team came in. I wonder what color that paper was?

You think Fry didn't kick back and smile when he heard about Schembechler's reaction? I haven't been able to find out if Iowa won that game or not, but if Fry managed to distract Schembechler by making him think about the locker room walls instead of football strategy (even if it was for 15 minutes), I'd say he accomplished his purpose.

But besides that, it's a funny story. And after you strip away all the talk about psychology and strategy, the idea of a football team in a pink locker room is funny. At least to me. Clearly, it's not funny to people like Buzuvis and Gaulding. What happened to their sense of humor? Look, maybe there's a shred of truth to what they're saying. I'm chuckling at the image of big, tough behemoths surrounded by pink. I'm sorry - I don't think there's anything inherently misogynistic or homophobic about that. (And this is from someone who admitted to watching America's Next Top Model yesterday, okay?) Isn't the humor in this obvious? Or am I being insensitive, and just not realizing it?

You know who else sees the humor in this? The hundreds of people who wore pink t-shirts to last Saturday's football game. Right now, pink t-shirts might be the hottest clothing item in Iowa City. According to this Daily Iowan article, stores near campus can't keep their pink "IOWA" t-shirts in stock.

Now that stuff makes me miss Iowa City. Just a little bit. That other stuff? Eehh, not so much.