Super Bowl Post-Mortem: I like my football dry

I know we're supposed to love football being played in nasty weather. The sloppier, the better. Real men are forged under conditions that make you squint and wince. It ain't football unless white uniforms are unrecognizable under grass and mud stains.

You know what? I'd rather see two teams do what they do well. If one team's playing like crap, it should be because the other team is making them miserable. Sure, weather is part of the game. But it's not so bad if teams actually get to execute some plays cleanly, is it? Five fumbles in the first quarter is just bad football. It's annoying to watch. There's nothing fun about it. Would you like to go in the shower and let the soap bar slip through your fingers for an hour? No, you'd get sick of squatting down to pick it up.

I'm not advocating every Super Bowl be played in a dome. No way. Of course not. But after bringing us The Wet Bowl, can Miami please be taken out of the holy, sunny trinity of warm weather cities that climate snobs like Bill Simmons put on a pedestal? Enough already. At least you got good football in Detroit.