Ben Sweets?

What did you think of Ben Wallace's rockin' red goggles last night? Chauncey Billups thought "he looked like Blankman," which was hilarious. With that kind of support, it's no wonder Ben ditched the goggles early in the game.

Big Ben is already one of my favorite Detroit athletes. But as someone who has to wear goggles when he plays basketball (though it's been more than quite a while since I stepped on a court), Ben became something else to me. He became an inspiration. He became my hero. So don't let Chauncey make fun of you, Ben. Chicks dig glasses, man.

(Image by Robin Buckson/ The Detroit News)

Actually, I was thinking of someone else when I saw The Bespectacled Mr. Wallace last night. With the giant curly hair and big glasses, along with a healthy slice of confidence and an aura that just screams "bad aasssss," I briefly thought Clinton Portis's alter-ego, "Bro Sweets," was suiting up for the Pistons.

And Portis's teammates love Bro Sweets. When the Redskins were losing and he thought he should stop dressing up each week, his teammates talked him out of it, saying they needed him to keep the locker room upbeat.

(Image from Deadspin)

The Pistons locker room is surely upbeat already. A 16-3 record will do that for you. Big Ben's been a little down, though. He said he didn't know what his role was. But what happened last night? Big Ben became Ben Sweets and brought it with 17 rebounds, five blocks, and four steals. And the sweetness spread to the rest of the team. Rip Hamilton scored 36 points. Chauncey added 28 points, and racked up 19 assists. Sacramento had no chance in the game, losing 109-98.

Blankman? Hell, no. Ben Sweets? Hell, yes.