He couldn't let Nick Saban get all the press

When Nick Saban bolted Miami for Alabama this week, one of the first things that came to mind (besides calling him a liar, weasel, and coward) was to compare him to everyone's favorite coaching nomad, Larry Brown.

Apparently, L.B. heard that, stopped lighting cigars with all of the $100 bills he stole from the Knicks, called Joe Glass, and said (in his typically sleepy drone):

"Hey, there's only one Larry Brown. I can't let this Saban guy steal my thunder. He didn't even quit the right way. He didn't even get more money from the Dolphins on his way out the door.

I'll show 'em. I'll show 'em all. Where's my next job, Joey?"

And so we have the triumphant return of Larry Brown to the city of Philadelphia, where he'll be named an executive vice president with the 76ers today. Among his duties will be assisting Sixers general manager Billy King with basketball operations, along with the hilariously vague responsibility of "special projects." (Surely such tasks will include counting all the cash Brown swindled from the Pistons and Knicks, making sure Allen Iverson stays away from Philly, and looking for the next job he'll be taking within a year or two.)

▪▪ Also very much worth noting from Phil Jasner's report in the Philadelphia Inquirer is that the Sixers are currently exploring a buyout of Chris Webber's contract.

Any chance someone is smiling over a pin-riddled voodoo doll in the University of Michigan athletic department right now? Basketball karma is quite a b!+@#, is she not?

Friday Stir-Fry

♦ Thank You Brian Sabean probably said it best: "Francisco Liriano outpitches one of the top 3 pitchers of all time."

Maybe a bit unfair (though tongue-in-cheek), given it was Roger Clemens' first major league start of the season, but that was definitely the case last night. The other pitcher on the field was outstanding, giving up only two runs in eight innings, resulting in a problem that plagued Clemens frequently last year: His Astros teammates didn't score enough runs for him.

♦ If the Tigers don't pound St. Louis this weekend as the White Sox did earlier in the week, we probably shouldn't sweat it. Some of the Cardinals think Chicago's success was due to stealing signs from centerfield cameras.

♦ Do you think Larry Brown planned for a contentious exit from New York? Or did his experience in Detroit prepare him for this? According to the NY Daily News, L.B. has a clause in his contract that names NBA Commissioner David Stern as the arbitrator in any financial disputes between him and the Knicks. (The NY Times reports that the Knicks haven't offered a buyout, either, so they'd better hope Stern takes their side.)

♦ This should surprise no one, but Mike Lupica is taking Larry Brown's side on this one.

♦ So it's now official, right? I don't have to care about soccer for the rest of the summer? Not like I was doing a very good job of pretending to...

It's the weekend! Take some links with you

▪▪ I hesitate to make light of a man going to the hospital, but should we be at all surprised that Larry Brown sought medical care for chest pains Tuesday night? The amazing thing is that L.B. didn't go all Fred Sanford as soon as Zeke traded for Steve Francis. (By the way, the man who left the Pistons for the Knicks says he's fine.)

▪▪ So with all the potential free agents that will probably be available in the NFL on Monday, the Lions signed Shaun King today? Shaun King? I didn't even know the guy was still in the league. On the other hand... I bet he still throws better than Jeff Garcia. Joey Harrington can relax this weekend. (Maybe he'll watch the Oscars.)

▪▪ According to Richard Justice's blog, which Houston Astro is drinking Yoo-Hoo to replenish himself in Spring Training?

▪▪ Kudos to Greg Eno for his post on the 1991 Detroit Tigers (and not just because he mentioned me). That was hardly a championship team, but they were so fun to watch. Anybody in the order could jack it out of the park.

(And thanks for reminding me about Tony Phillips. I love Tony Phillips. I still remember what Sparky Anderson said when somebody asked about signing him: "Well, he can catch the ball." Phillips may have been my favorite Tiger. It was fun to watch him push himself into becoming a good major league hitter.)

▪▪ Don't get too close to the monitor; it's bad for your eyes. But check out this picture at Deadspin, and tell me what you see. Or don't see.

▪▪ Have you nominated your favorite sports blog for Kevin Antcliff's upcoming poll? (And no, I am not shamelessly soliciting votes. I have shame. I didn't even vote for myself.)

▪▪ And did you take the M Zone Collegiate Wonderlic test? Hey, I did pretty well!

▪▪ I found this blog while doing some research on the Tigers last night. It's a Pirates blog, but its title - Where have you gone, Andy Van Slyke? - made me feel like someone out there might actually envy the Detroit Tigers.

(That reminds me - I have to take a road trip to PNC Park this summer. Maybe in July.)

Do you think Matt Millen is a Knicks fan?

With five hours until the NBA trade deadline at 3 p.m. EST, I'm trying to give Isiah Thomas the benefit of the doubt. My inner Little Ian is also reminding me that I loved Isiah as a kid, often risking ridicule by putting my pasty white torso in a Pistons #11 jersey whenever I played basketball. Right now, those sentiments are all that's keeping me from joining the pitchfork-and-torch mob decrying Isiah as the worst executive in professional sports. (Matt Millen, put your pitchfork down. You're still on the hook, pal.)

Isiah has to be working on something else, right? Tell me this Steve Francis deal is the precursor to bringing Kevin Garnett to New York. Because that's the only way yesterday's deal with Orlando makes any sense. Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury, two shoot-now-pass-later point guards, in the same backcourt? Francis, Marbury, and Jamal Crawford on the floor at the same time?

(Image from the New York Daily News)

I have friends in New York, so I hope they're reading this now. Mis Hooz, if you see an older, bespectacled gentleman standing along 7th or 8th Avenue outside Madison Square Garden, muttering "Joe fired me, I didn't quit... Joe fired me, I didn't quit," and staring at the oncoming traffic, hold him in your arms and don't let him go. He needs your help.

Here's the lead of Frank Isola's story from the New York Daily News, which also has a hilarious back cover today:

By early morning Larry Brown was talking about the Knicks potentially adding a player with a defensive mind-set, who is unselfish and owns a high basketball IQ.

It's on you New Yorkers to watch out for the poor guy. We can't help Larry Brown here in Detroit. Not just because of the geographical distance, but because we're too busy pointing at him and laughing the laugh of schadenfreude. We're nice people here, but you're dead to us when you'd rather go someplace else.

(Photo by G. Paul Burnett/ New York Times)

Oh, Isiah! Even your mother has to be saying that with tears in her eyes right now. And my Isiah jersey shrunk and ratted up years ago.

▪▪ Complete Sports points out that the Knicks actually have five shoot-first point guards, and has many links from the national (ESPN, etc.) perspective to browse.

▪▪ The New York Daily News' Mitch Lawrence and Father Knickerbocker both think Isiah is doing a great job... of improving the other teams in the NBA.

▪▪ Greg Eno wonders if Isiah ever had a plan in New York, and also has a very intriguing proposal for his next career move at Out of Bounds.

▪▪ The NBA Source proposes five trades that could realistically be made by the deadline today.

▪▪ In case you were thinking the Knicks were the only team being criticized, Peter Kerasotis of floridatoday.com asks what the Magic have to show for Tracy McGrady.

▪▪ Who else could be on his way out of Orlando? Grant Hill.

(Updated at 5:30 p.m.)

Thanks Larry, but we're over you now

Thankfully, today's Detroit sports topic du jour has nothing to do with the Lions. Instead, most of the talk is about Larry Brown's return to the Palace tonight. Mitch Albom wrote some jokes about it in today's Detroit Free Press. The New York Times' Howard Beck says this return will be more conflicted for Brown than the seven visits he's made to his other former jobs. Chris McCosky tries to tell both sides of the story in the Detroit News.

Maybe the biggest question is whether or not the Detroit fans will boo Larry Brown or cheer him. And there are a lot of opinions on that subject. The News' Rob Parker implores the fans not to boo. Cheering would be the classy thing to do. EJ Smith says Brown deserves neither jeers or cheers. Both the Pistons and Brown got what they needed from the other. Yet Kevin Antcliff believes Brown jumped onto a championship train that was already rolling. Both Greg Eno and Terry Foster think there's a case to be made either way. (But Foster can't help reminding you that Brown is a perpetual liar.)

If I'd had a chance to boo or cheer during the summer, I'd have thrown tomatoes at Brown. I was mad that he was thinking about other jobs while the Pistons were trying to win another NBA championship. He had to go because he'd created too many hard feelings among the players and his bosses. Had Brown returned, the same questions and drama surrounding him would've been explosive.

I don't know how it is in other cities, but Detroit fans will turn on you in a second if you'd rather be somewhere else. I definitely feel that way. If you don't like it here, get the #@$% out! (Watch out, Dre Bly.) And that's why Brown will hear some boos tonight.

But tonight, I'm going to cheer. Not enthusiastically, but sincerely. The man deserves acknowledgement for coaching the Pistons to another championship. Brown's critics will point out that this team was already good when he arrived and maybe Rick Carlisle would've won had he been allowed to stay. We'll never know if that was the truth. It was the right marriage at the right time: A veteran coach looking for his first championship, and a team that needed that one final push to greatness.

As often happens in such relationships, however, the proteges surpassed their mentor. The Pistons came within five minutes of winning another NBA title, despite all of Brown's drama, which showed just how good that team is. Their current 11-2 record, with Flip Saunders and his new system, shows this team simply knows how to win. But a new voice was necessary to refresh what could've become stale.

Ultimately, I think both sides won. (But you wouldn't know it from looking at Brown, who seems perpetually miserable.) The Pistons got a championship and are in prime position to win another one. Brown got his money and is coaching his hometown team. Everyone be happy.

Don't get me wrong, though; I hope the Pistons stomp the Knicks by 40 points tonight.