Sweaty Men Endeavors

The sports blog with the slightly gay name

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Watch the bridge!

Okay, we need patrols at the Ambassador Bridge. Check every car approaching from Detroit. Watch the walkways. I want at least one boat circling underneath, too, with searchlights aimed upward.

Officers: You're looking for a gentleman in his late-50s. About 6' 2", with sandy blond hair. Kind of like a heavier Robert Redford. You might recognize him, since he used to work here.

His eyes might be red from crying. He could be muttering something about how he used to be an All-Star third baseman. Oh, and he might still be in uniform, which should make him extra easy to spot.

Just hope the clubhouse attendants made sure to take away his belt and shoelaces. Approach him cautiously. But take it easy on the poor guy. Not just because he used to work here, and got kind of a rough deal, but because the guy has a terrible job right now.

Poor Buddy Bell. Two straight nights, his Royals have blown a 4-0 lead against the Tigers. But Friday night's probably hurt the most. A fly-ball-to-left-field-still-going-wait-a-minute-is-that-gonna-be.... it is! home run in the bottom on the ninth off Jeremy Affeldt sends everyone walking off the field, and a swarm of white uniforms with the Olde English D waiting at home plate to greet the hero, Carlos Guillen.

Tigers 10, Royals 9. Somebody check on ol' Buddy in the morning. Let him try to sleep in, because he probably didn't get much rest after that one. Painful stuff, man. Just painful.


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