Sweaty Men Endeavors

The sports blog with the slightly gay name

Monday, November 07, 2005

Feeling Minnesota? Is that what you call it?

I don't know about you guys, but I went out to rake my yard after the first quarter. So there probably won't be a lot of game insight today. Beyond Boxscores and Out of Bounds watched so I didn't have to. Thanks, guys. And I'm with you (and you too, Evan), please fire Steve Mariucci.

You could just tell. My inner glutton-for-punishment Lions fan popped up with excitement a couple of times when they threw downfield a couple of times. Yes! Does Mariucci finally get it?

But he didn't. And neither did his players. It was Groundhog Day. No Vikings defenders were blocked. There were no spaces for the running back to move. No time for the quarterback to throw. Passes overthrown and underthrown. The defense gave up third-down conversions.

(Image by Daniel Mears/ The Detroit News)

Once the score was Vikings 24, Lions 0, I was looking for other stuff to do around the house. My yard has never been so clean. Not a leaf in sight. If Roy Williams can't be bothered to play, I don't know if I can bother to watch. (Was that a mouthpiece or a pacifier in your mouth, Roy?) With eight more weeks of this stuff, my house might have an addition and patio deck by January.

Of course, I was suckered back in, once the Lions cut the margin to 24-14. I should've just stayed outside and stepped on the rake so the handle would smack me in the face.

And here's the worst thing of all - the Lions are just fucking boring to watch. As Mike O'Hara writes in today's Detroit News, when William Clay Ford fired Darryl Rogers in 1998, he did because "We're losing and we're boring."

What's different now? How can this possibly get any better?

Scottie Vines was the leading receiver (nine catches for 109 yards) for a team that has used first-round draft picks on Charles Rogers, the aforementioned Roy Williams, and Mike Williams the past three years.

♦ That same team, the one with all the "talent" at wide receiver, lined up with Vines, Glenn Martinez, and Eddie Drummond on the last chance the Lions had in the fourth quarter. And on that 4th down, with seven yards to go, Joey Harrington threw a four-yard pass to Vines.

♦ Believe me, I'm hardly one to criticize someone for being out of shape, but look at A-Little-Too-Big Mike Williams huff and puff down the field. Look how thick he is. (And he never fights for the ball.) Is he really in shape? For that matter, is Roy Williams, now infamous for the thigh that hurts too much to play? Is that why Cheech Rogers was left back in Michigan? Don't you think that's yet another problem with the Lions? How many of these guys are in condition to play a full game?

♦ Don't you wish Thighmastered Williams would start a fight with his teammates, maybe a behemoth like Shaun Rogers or Dan Wilkinson, in the locker room?

♦ I don't like it when I agree with Drew Sharp. But that's how bad this Lions season has been. I'll have to help an old lady carry her groceries today, or find some other good deed to make myself feel better.

♦ Finally, did you catch the end of the Raiders-Chiefs game, after the Lions game was over? Did you see Dick Vermeil go for the win and call a running play, down by three with five seconds left? I want a man like that coaching my team. Can you imagine Steve Mariucci ever making a call like that? Ever?


  • At November 07, 2005 2:58 PM, Blogger the sports dude said…

    There is no end in site and I think the theme for the remainder of the season should be one of house cleaning. Either for the fact that it gives us fans a better way to spend time on Sundays (by cleaning house instead of watching what they claim is football) or by meaning that is what the Lions need to do this off season. All right, maybe both even!

    Quite frankly it looks like the last four top picks for this team are a wash, a bust, a joke, whatever you want to call it! Harrington can not survive here, Charles would rather dope it up, Roy is a pussy and Mike Williams looks more like a TE or O-Lineman than a receiver!

    Oh, and did I mention, that whole coaching staff needs to go too!


  • At November 07, 2005 9:58 PM, Anonymous Evan said…

    I have to say... Millen did a decent job with the defense, but the offense is for shit. To his credit, he's admitted that he screwed up. And further to his credit, it could be argued that Mooch had some influence on the two most recent picks and that Harrington was Ford Jr's pick, not Millen's.

    That said, he also ditched Jeff Hartings and let Mooch toy with a 35-year-old Garcia as a supposedly viable back-up (or, more laughably, a replacement) to Joey.

    Whether Ford fires Millen or not, it's clear that:

    (a) Mooch needs to go
    (b) Most of the defense is OK, though it wouldn't kill to have another stud at CB since Bryant, Goodman, and McQuarters are good guys off the bench at best.
    (c) A stud pass-rusher wouldn't kill us either.
    (d) The offense needs to be completely redone. Again. Jones, while not productive, seems to at least have the talent to win and the humility to not publically rip on his teammates like Roy Williams and company. But even he is expendable given his shitty passblocking skills and lack of yardage of late. Anyone and everyone should go in trade for players and picks. Start anew.
    (e) An offensive system should be adaptable to players, a la Parcells and Belichik.


  • At November 08, 2005 6:33 PM, Blogger Ian C. said…

    I'm feeling like I gave Millen way too much credit during the offseason. All of those draft picks I thought were "stellar" look laughable right now, and most of his free agent signings have been disappointing too. But Evan, you're right - he's done a pretty good job stocking the defense and adding more speed to the unit.

    And I'm beginning to hope that the Lions' next draft is really boring, meaning no "skill position" players. I know draft selections can be influenced by who's available, whether or not you can trade up or down, etc.

    But I'd like to see the Lions take a bunch of offensive lineman in the next draft. (And maybe, as you said, a defensive end, as well.) To me, that's such a crying need on the team right now.


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